What, you mean Tony’s a conservative?

This particular isn’t Tony great? feature appeared in Friday’s Guardian. It read like an article by a subservient junior Labour MP. Actually, it was by neocon godfather Irvin Seltzler. This identical article, however, appeared on Monday. NuLab accolytes will never let you down, don’t you worry…

Ho ho

Iranian anti-terrorist arbitrary detention laws more lenient than ours? Surprise on a fucking bicycle…

Parsing and ambiguity

According to Tony Blair, there is “a worrying gap between parts of Parliament and the reality of the terrorist threat and public opinion”.

This sentence is somewhat ambiguous. The context in which it makes most sense is “although parts of Parliament understand how real or otherwise the terrorist threat is, the public are overly terrified about the whole thing”. Pointing this out is a surprisingly candid admission of failure, since Mr Blair’s lies and distortions are the main reason why the public are overly terrified about the whole thing.

The alternative interpretation – that public opinion is in accordance with reality, on this subject or any other – is so patently insane that not even Mr Blair could countenance making it…

Rare good news

This is good, not least because of this.

And other cryptic comments.

Oh, also, I win a prize for predicting that Tony would say something pathetic and schoolmaster-y about this defeat, like “don’t expect any help from me when the terrorists blow you up”. Indeed, he’s said he hopes MPs “do not rue the day”.

Cunt.

Free Ernst Zundel – and then call him a cunt

German holocaust denier Ernst Zundel is unequivocally an idiot and a rather unpleasant man. However, being an idiot or an unpleasant man shouldn’t land one in jail.

The correct way to deal with Holocaust deniers is the same as with evolution-deniers – you show everyone the evidence that it’s true, then point out that the relevant denier is being stupid. Come to that, people who pigheadedly refuse to accept evolution because it clashes with their ridiculous personal beliefs are far more likely to pose any serious danger than those who feel the same way about the Holocaust. And locking up ID-ists, although tempting, clearly isn’t on.

The most worrying element in this saga is that Mr Zundel wasn’t just persecuted by Germany (after all, not a country famed for its love of freedom). He was also deported from the US and Canada – and in the latter case, the deportation was explicity inspired by his beliefs. As a man facing persecution for thoughtcrime, Mr Zundel should be granted asylum by any country that calls itself civilised – not kicked out to meet his fate.

The case mirrors those of the persecuted Islamist activists to whom the UK granted asylum during the 1990s. Anti-free-speech politicians in mainland Europe got pissed off with us about that, too (remember ‘Londonistan’?), but we stuck to our guns. Right up until Tony Blair decided to intern them, thereby pissing off Britain’s radical Muslims even more than Iraq alone would have done, making sure that new, unknown leaders took control of extremist groups, and ultimately getting London blown up.

Free speech. It’s not always nice, but it’s good for you.

Advice to women

If a man is a known wife-beater and his dad is a convicted killer, then don’t go out with him. No matter how much he says he’s changed

Moronic campaigners

Ideally, any under-16 who got pregnant would automatically be given an abortion. This would reduce the amount of misery, suffering and general badness involved, as well as seriously cutting the chav-crime rate in 12 years’ time.

Sadly, that kind of thing is unfashionable these days. Nonetheless, allowing a girl to choose to have an abortion without telling her parents is a good idea. If they’re the kind of pro-life fanatics who’d try and get her to have the baby, then they shouldn’t be involved in that (or indeed, any other) decision. If they aren’t, then she’ll probably tell them. Overall, the current situation has no downside unless you’re a pro-life fanatic, in which case you should probably fuck off anyway.

Also, the campaign’s backer, a woman named Sue Axon, may well be the most embarrassing parent ever. Imagine if you were a teenage girl, and your mum kept going on the telly to say she was worried that you were a dirty slut but weren’t telling her (yes, I know this isn’t quite what Ms Axon is actually saying, but it’s sure as hell how I’d interpret it if I were either her insecure kid or a total bastard in the same class as her insecure kid…)

Kill them all

Speaking of terror-detention-stupidity, The Sun is evil.

If Grant Mitchell fancies actually beating Rebekah Wade to death next time she tries to slap him, I’d happily drop my general opposition to domestic violence. Ditto my opposition to terrorism for any terrorists who fancy exploding Rupert Murdoch. Terrible, terrible cunts.

They’re worse than Al Qaeda, even, since Al Qaeda have no power to make a blind bit of difference to anything particularly important (no, I don’t view 5000ish deaths as important in this context: in a world with six billion people, it’s completely fucking negligible. A major world government abandoning the rule of law is rather more serious…)

A six month prison sentence: no charge

In order to be allowed to support the government’s deranged law-abolishing 90-day-innocent-people-detention plans, you should be required to spend three months in prison (equivalent to a six-month sentence) yourself and see how you fucking like it.

Worse than we thought

Sounds like Jean Charles de Menezes was actually murdered: the commanding officer never gave permission to shoot him, and freelance shooting-in-the-head-by-coppers is viewed as murder in this country. Hopefully the filthy bastards responsible will be jailed, beaten and never let out. More likely, they’ll be ‘early retired’ on full pension…