Cool Tube-geekery

The Guardian and TfL – two organisations that do an excellent job of annoying people who ought to be annoyed – have embarked on a very cool project: they’ve produced a version of the Tube map that features 20th century music instead of stations.

As with Simon Patterson’s The Great Bear, each line represents a common theme. Unlike the Great Bear, however, intersections on the map feature cross-genre artists – so Bjork is on the intersection of avant-garde, jazz, pop, electronica and soul, while the Clash are on the intersection of rock and reggae. Good effort, overall.

Yay! More Nazi thug amusements

Can they please hold Nick Griffin’s retrial in London? Not because of the socio-political make-up of the jury – just because I want to be a part of the hilarity next time round…

Hang the complainants

ASA rulings are a frequent source of both humour and despair. That’s not quite fair: the ASA are somewhat po-faced, but are vaguely sane. Many of the people who complain to them, however, are genuinely certifiable – and certification would be far too lenient for these 89 complainants (the link should point to page 8 of a PDF).

Liberal update

Popbitch again:

Mark Oaten has made his first appearance since the rent-boy story broke, and is vowing to save his marriage. Mrs Oaten is likely to poo-poo that idea however, when she finds out the “utterly degrading act” alluded to in the papers was coprophilia. It seems that Mark, unlike most politicians, likes to eat shit!

And the lucky rent-boy who got to perform this task? Meet Kris. He describes himself as “straight forward, open-minded and easygoing. I am fascinated by the natural world and people who have something interesting to say. I enjoy anything safe and am totally versatile.”

So when’s the Menzies Campbell scandal going to break?

Independent *and* impartial

Meet the Carbon Monoxide Kills campaign. Note the way that instead of focusing on prosecuting dodgy landlords and unqualified gas installers (who are responsible for effectively all carbon monoxide deaths), it focuses on getting people to buy carbon monoxide detectors.

Meet Rob Aiers. He takes time out from his busy day-job as Director of Envirotec UK Ltd to lead the Carbon Monoxide Kills campaign, which encourages people to buy carbon monoxide detectors. What a brave, public-spirited figure; if all businessmen were like him, the world would be a kinder and better place. Indeed, his magnanimity is so great that I’m going to reward him with a link to the Evotec UK Ltd website.

And yes, by some bizarre coincidence… etc.

£1000 for someone to “rough up” Lucy Daw

If you can subesquently “ship her to an island far away”, the price is doubled.

The usual disclaimers apply.

Militias: controversial

Hamas aren’t allowed, because they’re a militia. But the Constitution says that everyone ought to have a militia. What gives?

Relatedly, this article sheds some light on why the Israeli reaction to Hamas has been quite so ridiculous. Perhaps some kind of “dear Israelis: the Irish aren’t blowing us up any more and Northern Ireland is much less wracked by horror than any time in the last 40 years” letter might be in order…

That cartoon thing, again

Yes, they’re shit cartoons, but really, fuck off.
This kind of shit makes me side with the loonies on the right. And seriously, Muslims-of-the-Western-world, you don’t want liberals like me to start siding with the loonies on the right…

Silly religious lot

The Danish paper of offensive-Mohammed-cartoons fame has issued an apology to “the honourable citizens of the Muslim world”. This clearly doesn’t include the mentalist fuckjobs who’ve been leading the protest. Shut up; it’s only a fucking cartoon.

A special hell is reserved for the European expats who gave arse-licking quotes to the Arab press about the whole debacle. “I think it typifies the lack of understanding about other cultures in the West, particularly about Islam and the seriousness Muslims attach to their faith”, says builder Martin Seward-Case. Shut up; it’s only a fucking cartoon.

What the Danes should have done is to invade Muslim countries, slaughter Muslims in their thousands, to prop up tyrannical regimes and to refuse to deal with democratically elected governments, while avoiding sixth-form jokes about Mo. That’s the Honourable Politically Correct Course Of Action, you see…