Easy questions answered

From the comments at Commentisfree:

Can you please explain how almost every Muslim family in the west is willing to murder, yes murder their daughters if they marry outside their faith?

I can: they aren’t. And you’re a loony.

(fx: outbreak of evil bastardry)

On reading the ‘young girls shagged ‘n’ bribed into smuggling coke for dodgy Africans, now facing ten years’ third-world hard labour‘ story, I thought it would be hard to find *anyone* who thought this was a sane, fair or proportionate outcome.

I mean (sensible point) they’re only kids who barely know what they’re doing and (slightly less sensible, but still more accurate than most prohibitionist commentary) cocaine is a consensual and mostly-harmless-to-third-parties way of making rich wankers slightly less rich and more wankerish for a few years, until they get over it or die of heart attacks.

Digression: and if anyone’s got a ‘my [relative/friend/person I saw on TV/dog] died of DRUGS and they’re EVIL and must be STOPPED’ sob story, then fuck off. Whoever you know that died of coke-related illness undoubtedly had a fuck of a lot more fun than you ever have or will in between their first line and their demise…

Unwisely, I turned to the Daily Mail messageboard:

Withdraw their citizenship, do we really want them back after their sentence is complete?

- Andy, Bradford, England

If only our lilly-livered government could take such strong action!

I hope our media will ensure this is given as much publicity as possible to deter other potential smugglers.

- John, East Sussex, UK

They deserve everything that is meted out to them for this!

- Terence, Hereford, UK

What fucking planet are these mad cunts on? How can anyone greet the ruining of a child’s life for a trivial non-crime with a ‘mmm, yeah, good, more of that please’?

Sometimes I actually, rather than merely for satirical effect, despair at the utter mindless idiocy and sheer evil of the scum we’re forced to share this planet with…

When ‘dogged pursuit’ turns into ‘lunatic obsession’

Welsh teacher Paul Davies drove like an idiot in May 2006. This isn’t especially surprising – if you’re a driver and claim you’ve never driven like an idiot, then you’re an arrogant liar.

Unlike most people who drive like idiots, Mr Davies was unlucky: he span out of control and hit another car, driven by a man named Kelvin Palmer. Mr Palmer was unluckier still, breaking assorted bits of himself in the crash and having to spend several months in hospital.

The police and CPS were initially reluctant to bring charges, on the basis that there wasn’t much evidence that Mr Davies had done anything terribly appalling [side note on press competence: the crash has universally been reported as a '120mph' crash. The testimony in court from experienced drivers was that Mr Davies was driving at 80-90mph - a 22-year-old nurse was the only witness to suggest the 120mph figure].

Mr Palmer doggedly pursued them until they did. Which is sort-of fair enough: the guy did drive like a twat, and did fuck Mr Palmer over royally. And it’s just about possible that enough prosecutions of people who drive like twats and are unlucky to have a serious accident will deter people from driving like twats generally (albeit incredibily unlikely, given the evidence across the criminal justice realm that draconian punishment has next to no effect unless people perceive a serious chance of getting caught). Eventually, Mr Davies was convicted and sent to prison.

However, that’s not the end of the story. Mr Davies is a good teacher – so good that the parents at his school have lobbied the governors of his school to not sack him. And indeed, the governors have decided to keep his job open until his release in the autumn.

Some people, me included, might be glad to see a good man who’s making a valuable contribution to society not having his life totally ruined for a moment of mild idiocy crossed with bad luck. Mr Palmer, however, is lobbying to get Mr Davies sacked. I think that’s the point where ‘quest for justice’ becomes ‘being an utter cunt’.

I would so buy that game

A pointless and absurd fuss has been brewing in Manchester over Sony’s use of the local cathedral as the backdrop to a shoot-em-up game.

In an attempt to simultaneously conjure up the ghost of Mary Whitehouse and give the Muslims a decent run for their money in the ‘taking offence at really stupid things’ stakes, the god-botherers are trying to get the game withdrawn. Daft sods – if a building I spent my Sundays at (e.g. the pub) were included in a computer game, I’d be fucking delighted.

According to the cleric leading the crusade campaign,

“We still fear that the next buildings to be cloned for virtual desecration could be a mosque, synagogue, temple or other church.”

I would so buy that game. You could have loads of different levels, playing as the KKK, neo-Nazis, Gujurati Hindus, Pakistani Muslims, the IDF, the Romans – the possibilities are near-endless. In ‘expert’ mode, the congregation fights back…

“Worship Desecrator IV: how many can you burn? Out now on PS3!”

This sort of thing happens in Norfolk all the time

According to the BBC, this is news: “Girl could give birth to own sibling“. Honestly, have these London media types never *been* to the countryside?

As if to prove me right

Oh come on. I know that my usual view on The Turrerists is that they’re a useless bunch of pricks. But even I wouldn’t have predicted that their latest plan would be to set themselves on fire and drive harmlessly into the side of an airport.

Western civilisation 1. Jihad 0.

Terrorble Terror Update

Apparently the (as is traditional, incompetent and not worth worrying about) terrorists from last night were targeting uber-chavs-from-Essex-on-nights-in-town hellhole Tiger Tiger.

Shame they failed.

Hearts and fucking minds

Just when you think George Bush couldn’t possibly say anything more stupid and ill-considered: “Iraq should be more like Israel“. Remarkable.