Catholic Church in “bunch of despicable scumbags” shock

Remember the Spanish Civil War? You know, the one where idealistic lefties backed by sane liberals everywhere fought against an evil fascist bastard backed by Hitler and the Catholic Church?

One might have thought that, having explicitly supported Franco and tacitly supported Hitler, and given the Hitler Youth background that Pope Ratzo claims he didn’t really mean, the Catholics would be keen to play down their contribution to total and utter evil during the 1930s and 1940s. Hell, maybe even to apologise for backing the most evil people ever?

But no, not a bit of it. The Vatican is holiding a ceremony to honour Catholics who died fighting on the fascist side in the Spanish Civil War. Exclusively the ones who fought on the fascist side. What an awful bunch of cunts.

I wish we’d been more successful at burning the fuckers alive when we still went in for that sort of thing. Or ideally, that we could bring that sort of thing back…

More stupid cuntery from the Libertoonians

What’s a ‘real job’? According to this bizarre attack on the Cabinet’s “lack of real-world experience”, the following jobs aren’t:

  • University lecturer
  • Journalist
  • Solicitor
  • Barrister
  • Political analyst
  • Teacher
  • Economist
  • Head of strategic planning
  • Trade union leader
  • PR consultant
  • Social worker

I mean, what the fuck? How are these jobs any less ‘real’ than the IT consulting jobs that most right-libertoonians [*] seem to have? Would we really be better off with fewer teachers and more cunting web designers? Or is this some kind of macho fantasy-land, where self-hating web-monkeys imagine a world where we’re ruled by brave manly soldiers, shipbuilders and mechanics…?

From the same piece, these two quotes are brilliantly mad:

“Not only is a he a fully paid up member of the Lawyer Enemy Class, he’s had ten years of being part of the European Union Borg Mind.”
“UN Transnazi anti-American wanker”.

Jesus. The EU’s merits are debatable (and there’s a lot of internal and external debate on them, which makes the ‘borg mind’ quip more than a little bizarre…). But EU aside, how much of a crazy-arsed jaded cunt do you have to be to believe that defending people’s civil rights, or attempting [with varied levels of success from conflict to conflict] to broker non-military solutions to the world’s problems, are bad things?

[*] out of right-libertoonians who’ve mentioned their jobs online, I can’t remember any who aren’t IT consultants, and I can think of several who are. If you know any right-libertoonians whose jobs are unequivocally more useful than any mentioned above, please post it in the comments.

In which poor headline choice provokes Onion-esque hilarity

Ask A Displaced Person In A Darfur Refugee Camp unfortunately brings to mind the long-running Onion series of the same name. Thus:

Dear Displaced Person In A Darfur Refugee Camp,

My partner and I have been seing each other for two years now, but the magic has gone out of our relationship. Is it destined to end or should I accept that things will never be as good as they were at the start?

Confused

Dear Confused,

There is a shortage of water. We have to buy one can a day for 25c, so unless you work you don’t get any money or water. Sometimes there is food, but not all the time. We get food rations once a month from the United Nations World Food Programme but it is not enough unless you add something. Please, will you people in the West help us?

Displaced Person In A Darfur Refugee Camp

Sorry, Darfurians. The real responses are here.

Weekly anti-scouser post

What is the difference between a cow and a tragedy?

A scouser wouldn’t know how to milk a cow.

(from the fine Sickipedia)

Dead Australians

Despite half the references being completely incomprehensible, this is excellent.

From the same comedians, this is one of the best stunts ever.

Why are Europhobics such lying fuckwits?

Europhobic blogger Prodicus has a heartfelt rant on the EU treaty. He thinks we need a referendum on it, even though we don’t normally have referenda in our political system.

The reason why he claims to think this is dressed up in paragraphs of elegant and enraged piffle – but in short, he says that the current treaty represents Parliament permanently and irrevocably giving up our sovereignty to the EU.

Only one problem: this is complete and utter bollocks. Any British parliament convened at any future event can vote – on a simple majority – to revoke the treaty and withdraw from the EU. If UKIP were elected next Tuesday, they could have us out of the EU by Wednesday (obviously the administrative tasks of deporting the foreigners, dealing with retirees evicted from Spain, abolishing human rights, losing our entire financial services industry to Frankfurt and so on would take longer, but the admin’s always a killer…). The same will be true once the new treaty is in force: we do not have to follow the treaty for one second longer than Parliament deems it appropriate for us to do so.

Why the fuck do the likes of Prodicus perpetually spread the lie that the EU, and not Parliament, has the ultimate power? Is it, err, because they don’t actually have any sane grounds to oppose the EU so need to make shit up…?

Ffwrch Cymraeg

The BBC has a piece on its website on the impact of the Welsh language in Wales and the tensions between native and ‘cultural’ Welsh speakers, following its bizarre but entertaining resurgence. Now, just as I approve of the study of Anglo-Saxon and Etruscan, I approve of the study of Welsh.

However, contrary to many of the opinions expressed in the article, Welsh is not in a meaningful historic sense the national language of Wales (any more than ancient Briton is the national language of England): aside from a few inbred hillbillies in the furthest-flung corners, the modern-day Welsh are descended from people who’ve been speaking English and its precursors since well before they even reached western Britain.

South Wales, culturally, is English-speaking, industrialised, working-class and Methodist (not coincidentally, a bit like Birmingham); north-east Wales is a holiday resort for Scousers, West Wales is the terrifying backwoods with almost no inhabitants; and the borders are England (has anyone ever encountered a less Welsh town than Wrexham anywhere ever?). The Welsh language is only of any historical import to the West Welsh; for people in Newport or Cardiff to learn it conversationally is just as wanky as 1920s public schoolboys conversing in Latin…

[disclaimer: PDF is half-Welsh, and his fathers are welcome to it]

Obligatory rugby post

Yes, Stuart Dickinson is an embittered, cheating lying Aussie cunt who should be burned on the same pyre as Luis Medina Cantalejo, and rugby refereeing chief Paddy O’Brien should be sacked on the spot for giving the despicable bastard his support.

Nonetheless, England played badly and in no sense deserved to win. We are not the second-best rugby team in the world, and only a raving loony would believe otherwise; overall, we should be bloody pleased we got through to the final…

This may be the finest dissection of human relationships ever

Noreen at Emerald Bile. Read the whole thing…

Once he has cleared off, the wife will be stuck in the arse of the country with kids she didn’t actually want, and the man will feel slighted that, by doing the right thing, he actually did the wrong thing, but still out of bloody mindedness and a desperation to prove that he was right after all, will then proceed to ruin the life of his second wife…

In which society takes another step back to the Dark Ages

So we lock up more children than more or less anywhere else civilised (note: for crime-’n’-punishment purposes, the US does not count as civilised). But apparently that isn’t good enough – we also need to hit them with big sticks.

The most appalling thing of all is that this is being proposed in the name of saving prison officers from injury. Bollocks to that. Prison officers are, without exception, despicable evil stupid cunts, just as bad as the people they look after, so I have not even the slightest academic interest in their welfare.
Anyway, if they can’t deal with unruly children without provoking assault, then they thoroughly deserve all the “broken noses, compressed fractures of cheekbones, fractured eye sockets, ears being bitten off, pens being shoved through people’s faces, [and] slashes” they get.