Evidence and its absence


The parents of a 15-year-old girl killed in a road crash have paid tribute to their \”beautiful\” daughter.

C\’mon. They could\’ve said \”clever\”, \”kind\”, \”loving\” – or even \”wonderful\” or \”brilliant\” – and got away with it. But given that photography has been a viable science for over 150 years, saying something so obviously counterfactual is just weird.

Kudos to the Beeb for putting it in inverted commas…

Two out of three workers in \”are dirty rotten liars\” shock

No way in hell do I believe this. It\’s just about possible that only 33% of workers are hungover *on any given day*…

2.3% of Londoners need murdered

So it\’s hello to (one of) the daft cunts of the BNP on the London Assembly. Let\’s be clear here, this has fuck all to do with Labour betrayal of the working class or any of that crap; there is no excuse for voting for the scumbags and if you think there is an excuse you are as vile and repellent as they are.

(thought experiment: did the fact that Weimar politicians fucked the economy exculpate people who voted for Hitler? No, it didn\’t.)

So, it\’s an official Pigdogfucker Murder A Despicable Bastard Bounty Day. Post proof that you\’ve murdered someone, and proof that they\’re a BNP cunt, in comments – the prize for Most Inventive Murder Of Most Cuntiest Cunt is GBP500 worth of halal meat, fried plantain and Polish sausage.

Get murdering, people… Oh, and in case you were wondering, the figure in the headline is BNP vote share * turnout….

Always sane, always balanced

Whining lying thieving pikey cunts; gas the lot of them:

\”We are the last group of people in this country who you can openly mock and make racist jokes about – who else is there?\”

Fuck off and tarmac my driveway. You\’re not a race, you\’re just a bunch of navvies who couldn\’t be arsed to settle down and get jobs when they stopped building railways…

The mayor is a cunt…

…and I\’m moving to Russia. That is all.

Peas in a (rapist-y) pod

This is doubtless a sign of my heartless inhuman mysogyny, but I saw two news stories today that I struggled to tell apart:

Johnny Vegas sexually molests pretty young fan on stage and Elephant seal attempts to rape penguin

Kinda yeah, kinda nah

I\’m sent a link to this story, on the grounds that it will really piss me off. And it sort-of does, but not as much as the sender might have expected.

[it\’s about a woman in the US who got locked up for 10-20 years aged 19 for some half-arsed drug offences, who escaped from jail after a year, spent 32 years as a fugitive living a respectable suburban life, and who\’s now been thrown back into jail after some unspeakable bastard grassed her up].

And indeed, there are elements that piss me off. Anyone who grasses up a non-violent offender to the police should be beaten about the head with an iron bar until they no longer have a head. Also, obviously, the original sentence was gibberingly crazily insane. As we all know, drugs don\’t take themselves; while many of the people who sell drugs, as a result of the trade being illegal, are nasty bastards who also shoot and steal, there is nothing any more immoral about the act of selling drugs in itself than the act of selling pie or skydiving lessons [*].

But the actual \’someone who escaped from jail being sent back there\’ thing doesn\’t actually upset me all that much. If we\’re going to impose deranged sentences on people for non-harmful non-crimes, then the ones who break out of prison shouldn\’t be punished any less severaly than the ones who actually stay there, follow the system, endure the torture of jail and try and get paroled…

[*] to pick two activities that, like drug use, are enjoyable but raise one\’s chances of untimely death

Ooh, teh shockz

Unsurprisingly, given the generally accepted lameness of the UK\’s would-be terrorists, nobody even bothered to argue with my assessment that if the police\’s evidence against Andrew Ibrahim is accurate, he\’s a schoolboy dilettante with fuck all in the \”explosives worth bothering with\” stakes.


The teenager has been accused of possessing Hexamethylene Triperoxide Diamine, also known as HMTD, which is an explosive organic chemical compound. He has also been accused of possessing, among other items, two home-made vests, a quantity of ball bearings, a quantity of air gun pellets, a quantity of nails and screws, wired circuitry, batteries and electric bulb filaments.

Now, homemade HMTD is almost completely fucking useless, since it either doesn\’t work at all or explodes while you\’re still carrying it (properly made HMTD hasn\’t been commercially available for years for related reasons), and creating it requires the chemistry skills of a half-trained ape. And as far as the other items go, anyone could get hold of them given half an hour\’s shopping time.

Given all that, then if he is guilty, I\’m actually vaguely impressed the rozzers managed to nick Mr Ibrahim (and once again, it\’s very good evidence that if anyone was planning anything serious against the UK that required non-trivial explosives and an actual conspiracy of people, they\’d already be in jail…). Perhaps the years of utterly pointless raids on home MDMA and LSD labs have actually provided \”watch out if person X buys chemical Y\” skills that are vaguely transferrable – if so, this may well be the only positive consequence of the War On Drugs…

[for the avoidance of doubt, I do think it\’s a good thing that Mr Ibrahim is on trial, just as I\’d prefer it if anyone accused of saying that they were going to kill me, and then firing an airgun at me from 100 yards away while blindfolded in the fervent belief that it would do me serious harm, were to go on trial…]

No alarms and no surprises

Yes, I know that \”ooh, this is how people found my blog\” articles are so tiresome that you can now read them in the Guardian.

Equally, the number of unspeakably disturbing and filthy searches that lead – doubtless rather disappointed – deviant wankers to this website is quite large. Which I guess isn\’t surprising, given the blog title and some of the subject material. How d\’you think I found Dr Newman K Lin? (note: this is a rhetorical question).

However, this is definitely the best week ever to get a referral from Google Austria for the search term \”fuck child under 13\”. Do you think they have Internet access in the St Poelton county jail…?