Crucify every last policeman

I know the police are despicable scumbags. And I’m well aware that Operation Ore was a pointless piece of grandstanding that stopped no children from being abused while ruining plenty of innocent people’s lives (including plenty of children, “oooh, kids’ rights take precedents over, like, everything” fans).

Nonetheless, arresting the defence experts who’re trying to exonorate an Ore victim for possession of indecent images over children, over a hard disk he’d been given by the fucking police for the purposes of making a forensic examination is even more despicable than I’d contemplated. And in the context of authoritarian bullshit related to TEH EEVIL PEEDOS, I’m well aware that every move the authorities make is pretty fucking despicable.

Seriously, this is about as vile an interference with justice as you can get. Avon and Somerset Police are a despicable bunch of bastards, every last one of them. As a result, the official PDF bounty for an Avon and Somerset copper has now been raised to £5000.

(and yes, I know Jim Bates has been barred from appearing as an expert witness because he stupidly, many many years ago at the start of his forensic career, lied about his qualifications. This has no bearing on his forensic investigation ability; nor on his experience of how the police lie, cheat, lie, cheat and ruin innocent people’s lives in such cases…)

Terror observation

I hope all my readers had a happy November 9 yesterday.

The thing I found interesting this time round is that this kind of jolly jape (and c’mon, it is) now shows a comments ratio of one grumpy po-faced “I lost my hat in the attacks, you CALLOUS BASTARDS” fuckwit to hundreds of LOLz. Even a couple of years ago you could guarantee a massive flamewar of po-faced cunts versus callous gets; now the callous gets have won. Which is as it should be.

If you lost anyone in the attacks and feel offended by this post, they were probably a wanker anyway, and one of the last things to go through their mind before their demise was almost certainly how glad they’d be to get away from you.

Julie Bindel can go and fuck herself up the arse

…but I’m not paying.

Went to a strip club last night. It was mildly degrading, mostly for me, as lots of very hot girls continued to extort £20 notes from me purely for showing me their assorted bits (I mean, come on, if girls were willing to pay me £20 for a ten-minute cock show, that would rule. What kind of deranged idiot could possibly think that the commercialisation of sex favours men rather than women?)

On the plus side, I got offered a new job and an enormous pay rise there. Shame I’m too mean/proud to use the new salary to take advantage of the “extra services” offered for £600 a time, really…

Minor upsides

At least if McCain is elected, it looks like he’ll cut off Yank support for Israel

Anyone who uses the word ‘irresponsible’ is a cunt

The word ‘irresponsible’ is only ever used in contexts where something amusing has happened, nobody has been hurt, but dull people disapprove.

Promoting your oil-conflict themed computer game by hiring a petrol station for the morning and giving away £20,000-worth of free petrol is an excellent example of something amusing that doesn’t hurt anyone.

And Lynne Featherstone MP is an excellent example of a tedious cunt.

(update: link fixed. Sorry, Devil)

Mrs Spears: VP candidate

Alaska in Winter are a great band, named after the dullest concept imaginable. So if you’re a 17-year-old girl growing up in said dull location, with a religious conservative fundie-loon mum, and who’s doubtless been told birth control is Teh Evils, then getting up the duff is not that surprising.

This is where America, to me as a sane person, becomes a completely non-comprehensible place. In the UK, plenty of dim teenage girls with witless parents sprog up – but assuming you didn’t grow up in a gutter, you’ll probably bother using johnnies in the first place, and will certainly get an abortion otherwise. In Yankland, girls whose parents *aren’t* circus freaks actually have kids when they’re still kids – even if their mum’s the second-highest-profile female politician in the land…

(indeed, thinking about it, if Bristol Palin *did* do the only sensible thing available, and unfucked her life through the means of basic harmless surgery, then that’d probably be the thing that sank McCain’s campaign. Dammit, America is a despicable hole filled with despicable bastards…)

Dissemination (damn, I hope I spelled that correctly)

Sarah Palin, laughing as a radio shock-jock calls her cancer-surviving colleague a bitch and a cancer:

I know this is more or less irrelevant to most readers, but if you’re USA-an or a blogger then it’s probably worth forwarding to wavering Hillary-ites or putting the video up to increase the chance of someone forwarding it to wavering Hillary-ites…

God will punish you for your sins

I felt sad about the death of Geoffrey Perkins, creator of Mornington Crescent, first producer of the Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, writer for Harry Enfield when he was funny, first producer of Father Ted, and all-round excellent comedy man.

Then, I read this paragraph of the poor man’s obit:

His credits as executive producer at the BBC included [...] My Hero, 2 Pints of Lager [... and] he also co-produced both series of Ben Elton’s The Thin Blue Line.

The tribunal at Nuremburg was willing to accept that Albert Speer was a misguided idiot who – despite being a good man of amazing accomplishments – blinded himself to the evil that he worked to accomplish. On the same grounds, I’m willing to pray for the soul of Mr Perkins.

But I hope there’s at least a fucking purgatory. And that they show non-stop fucking BBC3…

Dog-with-tits solidarity

Here is a dog with tits:
Dog with tits

The picture in question was photoshopped by some bloke for a laugh. However, the dog’s unbelievable wanker of an owner managed to track it down, threaten to sue the photoshopper for infringing his copyright, and successfully got his blog taken down from WordPress.

So the only possible retaliation is for everyone in the entire world to save, post, pass on and generally disseminate the dog-with-tits picture. I’ve done my bit; now it’s up to you…

Heartbreaking brilliance

This is a remarkably moving story of porn disposal. NSFWish.