Pigdogfucker

Unsurprisingly, given the generally accepted lameness of the UK’s would-be terrorists, nobody even bothered to argue with my assessment that if the police’s evidence against Andrew Ibrahim is accurate, he’s a schoolboy dilettante with fuck all in the “explosives worth bothering with” stakes.

Indeed:

The teenager has been accused of possessing Hexamethylene Triperoxide Diamine, also known as HMTD, which is an explosive organic chemical compound. He has also been accused of possessing, among other items, two home-made vests, a quantity of ball bearings, a quantity of air gun pellets, a quantity of nails and screws, wired circuitry, batteries and electric bulb filaments.

Now, homemade HMTD is almost completely fucking useless, since it either doesn’t work at all or explodes while you’re still carrying it (properly made HMTD hasn’t been commercially available for years for related reasons), and creating it requires the chemistry skills of a half-trained ape. And as far as the other items go, anyone could get hold of them given half an hour’s shopping time.

Given all that, then if he is guilty, I’m actually vaguely impressed the rozzers managed to nick Mr Ibrahim (and once again, it’s very good evidence that if anyone was planning anything serious against the UK that required non-trivial explosives and an actual conspiracy of people, they’d already be in jail…). Perhaps the years of utterly pointless raids on home MDMA and LSD labs have actually provided “watch out if person X buys chemical Y” skills that are vaguely transferrable – if so, this may well be the only positive consequence of the War On Drugs…

[for the avoidance of doubt, I do think it's a good thing that Mr Ibrahim is on trial, just as I'd prefer it if anyone accused of saying that they were going to kill me, and then firing an airgun at me from 100 yards away while blindfolded in the fervent belief that it would do me serious harm, were to go on trial...]

Another glorious day in the annals of the Thousands And Thousands Of Deranged Jihadist Fifth Columnists Trying To Kill Us All: a daft white middle class boy arrested with a house full of the crap Anarchist Cookbook bombs you make when you’re 14. I imagine we’ll find that he got caught after buying a sack of bicarbonate of soda over the internet.

And people are scared of these clowns? People actually give them more thought than ten seconds of laughter? For fuck’s sake…

Which dead fighter left this message for his daughter?

“Sweetheart… I’m going to really, really miss you a lot. I’m thinking about it already. Look, I absolutely love you to bits and you have been the happiest thing in my life. You and your mum, absolutely brilliant.

“I don’t know what else to say. I just wish I could have been part of your life, especially these growing up – these next months, they’re really special with you learning to walk and things. I just so much wanted to be with you but I have to do this thing for our future and it will be for the best, in the long run.

“That’s the most important thing…. you’ve got loads of people to look after you and keep and eye on you. And I’m doing what I’m doing for the sake of our country.”

Answer? With a couple of Islam references changed to patriotism references, it was Mohammed Siddique Khan, the total bastard who blew himself on the Underground in July 2005, and persuaded a small bunch of other idiots to do likewise.

But it sounds like any other speech by an articulate man gone to war to kill whomever his leaders told him to kill. I guess the point which needs reinforcing is that there’s nothing weird, wrong or unusual about wanting to die for a cause – fuck, I’m cynical and there are even causes I’d die for. And if you think there’s something weird about wanting to kill others while you do that – then doublefuck, there are courses in human nature that you need.

The bit which is weird about suicide terrorism in the UK is purely and simple that we think of the people who do it as being like us, but they think of us in the same way that British soldiers thought of Germans in WWI, Argie conscripts in the Falklands, Iraqi militiamen today, and so on.

Draw your own conclusions as to why this might be the case. Guardian readers should start from the perspective of George Bush and the Zionist lobby’s desire to slaughter any innocent brown chap that moves; while Daily Mail readers should start from the perspective of the inherent murderousness of the paedophile prophet.

[yes, I know this is based on the same article as the last piece. However, it's two very different points that really, really, really, really don't need conflating; this one is rightly incredibly contentious, whereas the other one shouldn't even need making but does...]

This antismoking advert is absolutely awesome.

Not, I hasten to add, because I disapprove of smoking and think it ought to be banned or anything. I love smoking; I just don’t like the way it makes me cough, snore like a bastard, and not be able to run for buses. Rather, I approve of the advert because:

1) people who think it’s awful and inappropriate to make jokes about September 11 are despicable cunts who should be made to stand in pairs and then have petrol-soaked model aeroplanes flown into their heads, and anything which offends them [*] is a good idea;

2) it makes the point that compared with preventable, dull and silly causes of death, terrorism is deeply irrelevant, and so anyone who thinks it’s in any way important, or that Teh War On Terra is one of the major problems facing Civilisation, or anything other than “a few nutjobs are a bit annoying, and stand a chance of killing you that’s so small you’re more likely to die of a stroke from worrying about it too much”, is a fucking idiot.

(via. And yes, I know it’s old. What, you mean you come here for the latest news, not crazy rants and occasional links to bestiality advice?)

[*] within reason. 9/11, although it doubtless offended such people quite a lot, still wasn’t a particularly good idea.

Everyone dies. Most people die while old of chronically painful diseases. Some die in accidents; some die while young of chronically painful diseases.

Then, a number of people that – even if every fucking would-be-terrorist out there was left entirely unchecked – would still equate to less than 1% of total deaths are killed by terrorist actions.

With those odds, to spend any time whatsoever worrying about that miniscule risk is Just Fucking Stupid, and anyone who is worried that they or someone they love will be killed or injured in a terrorist attack should Just Fucking Stop It.

Which brings me to the paranoid nutjobs on this comment thread who think it’s entirely reasonable to send a girl to jail for wearing flashing LEDs at an airport. “Oooh, but she could have been a terrorist; she was lucky they didn’t shoot her”. Possibly she was lucky the evil cunts who manage security at airports didn’t shoot her (in the unlikely event that there is a major successful terrorist act on an airport, the deaths of some airport security cunts will be one of the few upsides), but I’m not sure that’s really the point…