Filed under Politicking

A nation of joyless arseholes

I know this is going to make me sound a bit Littlejohn-y, but this article on kids in pubs (that’s in the “families having fun together” sense, not the “13-year-olds getting bladdered” sense) sums up everything I don’t like about this country.

Basically – over the last 10 years we’ve moved towards a more civilised model of pub culture, with food and children both encouraged rather than forcibly removed. As a result, a whole bunch of despicable miserable bastards are saying “oooh, you can’t have a quiet drink anymore without being distracted by the sounds of children having fun. I want to drink in a tomb, and I want everyone to be as joyless and miserable as I am”.

That impulse amongst cuntish adults – not any kind of lying toss about ‘lack of discipline’ or ‘falling educational standards’ or ‘yoof crime’ – is why being a kid in the UK is officially rated as rubbish. And the people who lament ‘lack of discipline’ and ‘falling education standards’ and ‘yoof crime’ are precisely the kind of bastards who cause it. Hang them all…

Ignorant victims miss point

Amanda and Philip Peak, of Partington, near Manchester, are despicable stupid cunts and I’m glad their children are dead.

Harsh? Well, yes. Fair? Well, yes. Why?

1) they exemplify the modern ‘person to whom a bad but unusual thing has happened’ tendency to assume that Terrible Terrible Badness, and not Miserable Luck is at fault – despite the fact that if anything bad happens to you, up to and including murder, bad luck will almost inevitably have far more impact than anyone’s malicious intentions (with ‘your own stupidity’ and ‘other people’s stupidity’ also counting way above ‘badness, malice etc’ in the list).

2) they also exemplify the current government’s utterly insane tendency to deal with harmful things that are already illegal by proposing to make things that aren’t harmful illegal. In this case, because someone who was at more than twice the drink-drive limit crashed into their car, they want to cut the drink-drive limit to zero.

Now, on 1 I’m absolutely fucking right: it’s very easy to do stupid things that could kill someone; we all do stupid things that could kill someone on a regular basis; anyone who says they don’t is a liar and a hypocrite; and therefore when someone kills someone by doing a stupid thing, we should view it primarily as a terrible shame rather than an opportunity to satisfy Um Primitive Tribal Rage God by sacrificing the other person on an altar of pointless cruelty.

However, I accept that most people in society are barbaric fuckwits who barely deserve the title ‘human’, and therefore will concede this point to the primitive ‘oooh, punish, punish, punish’ morons until I’m dictator, at which point I’ll contrive bizarre and elaborate schemes to ensure that every single potentially dangerous action one of these people takes brings horrible pain and suffering to a loved one, then ask them how they feel about punishing people for bad luck a year later.

(yes, drinking and driving bad mkay; no, I’ve never drink-driven. If I was in a hotel at 6AM drunk-but-feeling-sober after two hours sleep and I got a text that my relationship with the person I loved was fucked up, would I definitely be able to stop myself from going and sort things out? Anyone who says they definitely wouldn’t is a liar, and I despise them for their utter cant and wish nothing but suffering on them. Because they’re malicious, whereas Luke McCormick wasn’t. That makes them worse than if he’d killed a fucking *million* children).

(also, on what planet is a minimum 3.5 years in jail, plus entirely losing your only shot at a decent career, not an incredibly severe punishment? Again, I’d love to see how the Peaks and their defenders would cope with the same – *extremely fucking harsh* situation).

Anyway. Enough; I’ll concede that point to you barbarians and morons.

Point two alone is enough to want the Peaks strung up. In exchange for *absolutely fucking nothing*, for a measure that would have done *literally fuck all* to save their kids’ lives, they want to make it effectively impossible to enjoy the excellent pleasure of going to a country pub and having a couple of beers with lunch. That isn’t worth it. It fucking isn’t. Even if there were evidence that a lower limit would save lives, which there isn’t, it still wouldn’t be enough: given that the value of a life is set at approximately £1m in benefit-cost analysis, if countryside drinking killed 10 people a year but provided £11m worth of amusement, then banning it would be moronic. But there isn’t, so the point is even stupider.

In short, fuck them; if there’s any inheritability at all to intelligence, I’m glad their kids won’t grow up to vote.

House of Bothered

Various people are grumpy about the fact that a despicable Australian cunt who deserves hanged is instead in jail. They’re wrong. If your attitude to Holocaust denialists being locked up is anything other than “fuck yeah; although it’s a shame they don’t just gas them and their families”, you are a cunt.

Ditto climate change denialists. And Tories.

Free speech idiocy

A stupid quote from the CiF comments (shock! horror!):

A hate-filled anti-Semite might, for example, think that freedom of speech gives him/her the right to spout reams of malicious gloating over the fate of those who died in the Holocaust, and to do this within the vicinity and hearing of people who are Jewish.

It absolutely fucking does mean that. If you think the unpleasant conduct above should be illegal, then you are a despicable and pathetic excuse for a human being, and I hope your children are horribly murdered by demented psychopaths who then force-feed you their corpses…

Everyone should have the right to say appalling and offensive things. If you don’t believe that, your opinion is worthless.

Crucify every last policeman

I know the police are despicable scumbags. And I’m well aware that Operation Ore was a pointless piece of grandstanding that stopped no children from being abused while ruining plenty of innocent people’s lives (including plenty of children, “oooh, kids’ rights take precedents over, like, everything” fans).

Nonetheless, arresting the defence experts who’re trying to exonorate an Ore victim for possession of indecent images over children, over a hard disk he’d been given by the fucking police for the purposes of making a forensic examination is even more despicable than I’d contemplated. And in the context of authoritarian bullshit related to TEH EEVIL PEEDOS, I’m well aware that every move the authorities make is pretty fucking despicable.

Seriously, this is about as vile an interference with justice as you can get. Avon and Somerset Police are a despicable bunch of bastards, every last one of them. As a result, the official PDF bounty for an Avon and Somerset copper has now been raised to £5000.

(and yes, I know Jim Bates has been barred from appearing as an expert witness because he stupidly, many many years ago at the start of his forensic career, lied about his qualifications. This has no bearing on his forensic investigation ability; nor on his experience of how the police lie, cheat, lie, cheat and ruin innocent people’s lives in such cases…)

Terror observation

I hope all my readers had a happy November 9 yesterday.

The thing I found interesting this time round is that this kind of jolly jape (and c’mon, it is) now shows a comments ratio of one grumpy po-faced “I lost my hat in the attacks, you CALLOUS BASTARDS” fuckwit to hundreds of LOLz. Even a couple of years ago you could guarantee a massive flamewar of po-faced cunts versus callous gets; now the callous gets have won. Which is as it should be.

If you lost anyone in the attacks and feel offended by this post, they were probably a wanker anyway, and one of the last things to go through their mind before their demise was almost certainly how glad they’d be to get away from you.

Minor upsides

At least if McCain is elected, it looks like he’ll cut off Yank support for Israel

Anyone who uses the word ‘irresponsible’ is a cunt

The word ‘irresponsible’ is only ever used in contexts where something amusing has happened, nobody has been hurt, but dull people disapprove.

Promoting your oil-conflict themed computer game by hiring a petrol station for the morning and giving away £20,000-worth of free petrol is an excellent example of something amusing that doesn’t hurt anyone.

And Lynne Featherstone MP is an excellent example of a tedious cunt.

(update: link fixed. Sorry, Devil)

Mrs Spears: VP candidate

Alaska in Winter are a great band, named after the dullest concept imaginable. So if you’re a 17-year-old girl growing up in said dull location, with a religious conservative fundie-loon mum, and who’s doubtless been told birth control is Teh Evils, then getting up the duff is not that surprising.

This is where America, to me as a sane person, becomes a completely non-comprehensible place. In the UK, plenty of dim teenage girls with witless parents sprog up – but assuming you didn’t grow up in a gutter, you’ll probably bother using johnnies in the first place, and will certainly get an abortion otherwise. In Yankland, girls whose parents *aren’t* circus freaks actually have kids when they’re still kids – even if their mum’s the second-highest-profile female politician in the land…

(indeed, thinking about it, if Bristol Palin *did* do the only sensible thing available, and unfucked her life through the means of basic harmless surgery, then that’d probably be the thing that sank McCain’s campaign. Dammit, America is a despicable hole filled with despicable bastards…)

Dissemination (damn, I hope I spelled that correctly)

Sarah Palin, laughing as a radio shock-jock calls her cancer-surviving colleague a bitch and a cancer:

I know this is more or less irrelevant to most readers, but if you’re USA-an or a blogger then it’s probably worth forwarding to wavering Hillary-ites or putting the video up to increase the chance of someone forwarding it to wavering Hillary-ites…