Pigdogfucker

The last post appears to have stoked up some controversy among fuckwits. A particular idiot says:

I look forward to your tour of the nations’ predominantly white “sink estates” (ZaNuLabour term) explaining to all of these people born into a cycle of poverty and no prospects exactly how this applies to them.

This is moronic because:

a) equating a bunch of mildly-inept-but-no-worst-than-most centre-right politicians to Mugabe’s genocidal thugs is as witlessly offensive as equating Israel with the Nazis

b) the white British gentlemen (and indeed, the other-coloured British ladies and gentlemen; foreigners fleeing persecution aren’t so lucky) of this nation’s predominantly white sink estates are housed, clothed, heated and fed, and enjoy the delights of Sky TV and all the weed they can smoke. This isn’t much of a way to live, but it beats the lifestyle of at least 75% of the world’s population into a cocked hat…

(This awesome rant refers.)

Some daft fuckwit who DK unwisely lets post on his blog is having the traditional “oooh, look at me, I’m white and male so I’m oppressed” rant.

Fuck you, you stupid prick. Spoken as a white British male – if you’re lucky enough to be born white, male and British, your reserves of luck relative to the average person-who-is-born are so enormously, vastly fucking enormous that uttering one fucking moronic lying retarded word of ‘oh noes, the blacks get a better deal than me’ style nonsense ought to be punished by flaying alive.

If you’re white, male and British and you think there is something wrong with your life, you may well be correct – but the thing which is wrong with your life is that you, despite being given every opportunity open to you by life, have fucked it up. Stop whining or kill yourself. If you decide to pick the second option, here are some directions.

...but it’s certainly worth reading.

Tags: really fucking depressing

PDF operates an equal opportunities policy of offensiveness. If a fucking dickhead compares Labour to the Nazis, we call him a fucking dickhead. If a fucking dickhead compares climate change denialists to Josef Fritzl, we call him a fucking dickhead (note: the Bishop of Stafford is a fucking dickhead).

And if an Australian TV channel points out to kids that they’re using ten times the resources of the average third world citizen, and does so by the comedically robust means of a “when ought you to die?” calculator, we salute them. This is entirely appropriate: everyone in the west should be thoroughly aware of how fucking lucky they are to be as rich as they fucking are, and equally be aware that there is no way in hell the world could support the lifestyles we currently have for its whole population; failure to appreciate these facts is a sign of rampant idiocy and self-centredness bordering on the autistic; and the belief that it’s wrong to point these facts out to kids in a way that will shock them and stick in their minds is somewhere between Victorian and moronic.

However, one thing that we don’t like is hypocrisy. And as Justin points out, the hypocrisy of right-wing swearbloggers after the Bishop of Stafford’s remarks certainly counts…

a) George Bush is a fucking tool
b) George Bush is coming to the UK
c) This is a Bad Thing
d) Manticore!!

An anonymous contributor writes:

I was thinking it’s very annoying that these lorry drivers are blockading the roads etc, but at least it means they’re not murdering female teenage hitchhikers.

Obviously, as soon as I put up a post defending Boris Johnson, he was bound to do something irretrievably awful. And as if by magic, he comes up with “I’ll ban my biggest rival from standing in 2012, when the Tories are in power and unpopular…”

Actually, it’s not entirely clear from the Standard piece whether Mr Johnson is proposing a two-consecutive-terms limit on being mayor, which wouldn’t be a terrible idea, or whether he’s proposing a two-terms-ever limit, which would be pretty much an act of attainder against Ken Livingstone. Ken certainly seems to think he means the latter; we shall see.

We do know for sure that Mr Johnson, entertainingly for a man who promised to stamp out corruption and cronyism, has stuffed his advisory team with members of Westminster Council. Yes, that’s Westminster Council of “we are the corrupt evil bastards who forced council tenants to live in asbestos-ridden accommodation, sold council assets worth tens of millions of pounds to the council leader, and then made no effort whatsoever to get the money back from her when her fraud was proven because she’s our friend and we don’t give a fuck” fame.

Still, at least none of the money they steal this time round will go to minorities or socialists. So that’s OK then…

I’m against the 42-day internment proposal, as is anyone with any sense at all.

However, this kind of twatty opposition almost swings me in favour of it. Count the “I am a despicable bastard and deserve horsewhipped and rubbed in salt” clichés – “Liebour” (at least he doesn’t call them ZaNu Liebour, I suppose), a clever and appropriate “Labour plus swastika logo”, and the PM referred to as “No Mandate Brown” (if you’re so keen on the fucking constitution, you should fucking accept that the Prime Minister isn’t and never has been a democratically elected position), all in a single post.

The dickhead in question also claims to be “a foreigner in my own country” (yeah, all those fucking darkies they let in – best send them home, eh? update – retracted – see below). I’m sure you’ll be unsurprised to learn he’s a fervent campaigner for EU exit and an English parliament, too…

It upsets me that the fucktard calls himself “Wonko”, however. It’s a reference to Douglas Adams’s character, Wonko the Sane – and I always hate it when loathsome rednecks misappropriate the work of brilliant, liberal writers who’d certainly hate all the swivel-eyed nonsense they spout…

Update: Wonko responds. He says “I think Douglas Adams would have been vehemently opposed to the system of apartheid and anti-English discrimination in place now at the hand of the racist Brit-Scots“. I strongly suspect that Douglas Adams would have laughed in mild desperation at the world when he encountered anyone holding such gibberingly insane views; readers, what do you think?

He also points out that the “foreigner in his only country” thing is about being an English nationalist while England is abolished by sinister transnational Scottish-elitist machinations, not about immigration. I do feel slightly guilty about this one: being a conspiraloon is not as bad as being a racist, and so whilst believing the original statement to be utter bollocks, I retract any suggestion that it’s motivated by not liking the darkies…

According to the Centre for Social Cohesion (readers, can you think of anything more 1984-esque and horrible than a Centre for Social Cohesion?)

Mayor Johnson has managed to recall one such incident from that era when a fellow club member, now a top city lawyer, had thrown a plant pot through a restaurant window and the police had been summoned:

“The party ended up with a number of us crawling on all fours through the hedges of the botanical gardens, and trying to escape the police dogs.”

Mayor Johnson did not escape arrest and, along with several other club members also arrested, was obliged to spend the night in police custody. “Once we were in the cells we became pathetic namby-pambies”, said the Mayor.

Of course, the scale of their misdemeanours does not begin to match that of Jimmy Mizen’s killer. But, then, unlike him, David Cameron and Boris Johnson had had every advantage in life, including an Eton-Oxford education.

No, it’s not about the scale, you daft cunts. Call-me-Dave and Boris went out and were twats, in a harmless-aside-from-financial fashion (and mild financial loss doesn’t matter at all; if you think it does then you’re a blithering idiot). Harmless jolly fun; the sort of thing everyone should do as a kid; and only paranoid tools who fear a hoodie lurking in every corner worry about it.

The guy who killed Jimmy Mizen, although admittedly unlucky in that hitting someone with a glass bowl doesn’t normally kill them, did nonetheless hit a chap with a glass bowl. That’s a completely different issue, in that it involves actually doing violence against a person. If you’re too moronic to grasp this concept, you probably shouldn’t be writing for a social think tank…

Paulie from Never Trust A Hippy really is a ridiculous fucking twat.

No, this isn’t a fucking ‘constructivist’ comment; nor does it take account of the fucking ‘historical forces’ shaping why Paulie is such a ridiculous twat. It’s a bourgeois observation, from my ahistorical ivory tower, based purely on observation of the text without consideration for its positioning. Bad me.