Filed under Miscellany

If you were looking for a definition of \’self-righteous, self-justifying cunts\’…

Bystander, the blogging magistrate, has rightly mocked a pro-speeding website\’s insane reaction to losing in the ECHR (summary: if your car\’s caught speeding, you have to say who was driving or why you don\’t know who was driving, otherwise you\’re considered liable for the fine and points. Loonies believe this is an Evil Violation of Human Rights, despite generally supporting the internment and execution of brown chaps).

The sheer level of affronted cuntery that this has met in his comments section is highly entertaining.

Look, you badly-driving bastards (it doesn\’t matter whether the speed limit is appropriate to the road, if you\’re not capable of driving within it because it\’s the law then you shouldn\’t be allowed behind the wheel), you do more fucking harm per year than the fucking terrorists by several orders of magnitude, and are treated with fucking kid gloves [*]. Take your points and be grateful for them, cuntwits.

[*] unless you\’re unlucky enough to actually kill someone while driving badly, at which point you become an Evil Bastard and go to jail forever despite having no more culpability than every other badly-driving cunt on the road

Things I missed

One of the most shit excuses I\’ve ever heard for not updating a blog is that the blogger\’s flatmates brother is currently squatting in the blogger-in-question\’s computer room. But fuck you all, it\’s true. Both directly, and by impairing my porn consumption and hence diminishing my anger.

Craig Murray\’s Dundee University rectorship speech is excellent, especially \”Jack Straw, incidentally, is a man who should have \’Rubbish\’ shouted at him from the moment he steps out of the shower in the morning until the moment he retires with his evening cocoa\”. And the case where a court ruled that only someone of unsound mind would consider donating money to the Tories was, if anything, even better.

Under no circumstances…

I can\’t stress the extent to which nobody, under any circumstances, should ever watch this video. NSFW, or indeed anywhere else.

Apropos of nothing

This is an entirely pointless piece of kit for daft Americans. But why the hell is it promoting a minging city in Berkshire?

[note: I neither know nor care whether said location actually has city status, or is merely a big crap town]

If only he were mute

Why the fuck is what David Blunkett thinks about anything news? Rentaquote gobshite; I hope he drowns while a crowd of plastic coppers watches and cheers (incidentally, the CSOs did absolutely the right thing in the case discussed here: they couldn\’t see where they body was, so there wasn\’t much point in going on a pointless and potentially fatal wild goose chase).

I was going to lighten the mood a bit with a link to the bible retold in lolcatz style, but the site appears to be buggered. Ah well, misanthropy and misery it is then…

Bad Lembit

It is a truth universally acknowledged, other than by charlatans and lunatics, that 32B breasts are the world\’s finest, with 34B running them a close second.

However, it is also clear that un-surgeonised A-cup breasts are infinitely preferably to silicone-artificial C-cup breasts. And I\’ve lost all respect for Lembit Opik for failing to stick up for this principle.


Max Mosley is an utter cunt, and should be crucified. And anyone with anything other than contempt for the corrupt Wop bastards at Ferrari should have their arms and legs cut off.

NB if you merely have contempt for the whole Formula 1 business, that\’s also acceptable.

Doctoring standards: officially slipping

Doctors have an age-old tradition of moonlighting as murderers, from Crippen through to Shipman. However, they also have a vague reputation for not being thick-as-pigshit fuckwits.

Which brings us to anonymous blogging medic Dr Rant. For those of you who\’ve been on Mars for the last six months, god-bothering doctors Kate and Gerry McCann went on holiday in Portugal and murdered their child abandoned their child to be murdered were the cruel victims of Evil Child Abductors and Sinister Foreign Policemen. Unsurprisingly, this has become something of a news story.

Telegraph journalist Ben Ehrman, enterprisingly, signed up on Friends Reunited in Kate McCann\’s school and medical school years, in the hope of getting in touch with some contemporaries who were willing to give him quotes and/or stories about Ms McCann. He contacted some of these contemporaries by email – in the first line of which he explained that he was working as a journalist for the Telegraph.

Dr Rant seems to think that this is in some way bad, rather than a sensible way of pursuing a legitimate public interest story that misled nobody and invaded nobody\’s privacy. This makes Dr Rant a moronic fucktard and disgrace to his profession, who should probably be forced to swap places with a nurse in a care home wiping up old people\’s shit for all eternity.

Don\’t set fire to your jacket

A new blog for your perusal, because there aren\’t enough ranty libertarians on the web. It\’s possible I know this person in real life, but don\’t let that put you off. And the title may or may not be a real and necessary warning label.