Filed under Meeja

Celebrity Banker Paedo-Rape Island

FCFT says:

The question everyone really wants to know is whether or not [UK banks] will be paying bonuses, bankers remuneration having joined paedophilia and X-factor as a national obsession

This has given me an excellent new TV idea… as above. Development starts now… this time next year I’ll either be a millionaire, or I’ll have been lynched by an angry mob.

But the beauty is, my lynching by an angry mob will also count as an excellent new TV idea.

Abolish libel laws

Only an imbecile could possibly support libel laws.

1) they provide no protection to innocent everyday people defamed by the newspapers, as innocent everyday people can’t afford expensive QCs.

2) they provide a great deal of protection to crooked oligarchs, murderous quacks, terrorist-funding despots, and other despicable bastards.

I accept that in theory, some protection under 1 might be nice for society to provide – but on the other hand, fuck it. If the News of the World ran something properly damaging, like ‘PDF killed Baby P and lives at 422 Blenheim Mansions’, then they should be thrown in jail for incitement to murder. If the News of the World ran ‘PDF is a liar and an idiot’, then really, so what?

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Regina Spektor, Vagina Inspector

Dammit, it looks like I wasn’t the first person to think of this idea. Although apparently I am the first to note that it would make an excellent Viz strip.

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Lies and the lying liars who tell them

What’s crooked? Misrepresenting a scientist in a quote? Maybe not. Misrepresenting a scientist in a quote and refusing to correct your article? Maybe not even that? So, what, then…?

How’s about misrepresenting a scientist in a quote, refusing to correct your article, refusing to publish his refutation on the letters page, and refusing to even publish his comment on the online article? Fuck yeah!

That’s serious terrifying, lying nonsense. Not in a trivial fashion, but in a spreading-myths-about-one-of-the-most-important-things-threatening-the-world fashion. It’s the point where the prospect of legal action against people for telling outrageous and malicious lies actually comes into play… [*]

[*] if you’re a freedom-of-speecher who believes in the abolition of all libel laws, fine; I disagree with you but you’re not an idiot. If you don’t, in a world where you’re allowed to do this kind of shit, but not to call wealthy well-lawyered thieving rapist crook Alisher Usmanov a thieving rapist crook, there is no freedom of speech.

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Bias towards reality

Weapons-grade dickhead Tim Montgomerie has a handy guide for cunts on ‘ingrained BBC biases’. Although most of them seem to be more like ‘areas where the BBC reflects reality’:

Anti-Americanism and hostility towards Israel.

Hostility? To Israel? Why the fuck would anyone be hostile towards Israel? (use of Telegraph link deliberate: even they can’t spin the latest bout of murderous evil as the Palestinians’ fault…)

Support for popular views on climate change.

This one is kinda true – in that popular opinion on climate change is split, whereas scientific opinion (note: engineers and programmers with blogs are not scientists) isn’t, and the BBC doesn’t do enough to highlight the extent to which anti-AGW opinion is considered marginal among people who understand the science. However, I don’t think this is the angle Mr Montgomerie is coming from…

A constant tendency to see issues through urban rather than rural eyes.


The fucking country is fucking urban
. 81% of us live in cities or large towns, and 90% live in towns of some description. So of course issues are presented through urban eyes…

Christmas ‘are you a cunt?’ test

Excellently, Channel 4 is getting the Iranian president, Mr I’m A Dinner Jacket, to present its Alternative Christmas Message.

Now, we all know Mr Jacket is a loony. So opinions on the matter will be split broadly into ‘people who know Mr Jacket is a loony but think it’s fucking hilarious’, ‘people who know Mr Jacket is a loony but don’t give a fuck either way’, and ‘utter cunts who’ll get wound up by Channel 4 giving a PLATFORM!!! to this EVIL!!! HOLOCAUST DENYING!!! ANTISEMITIC!!!…etc’.

The Guardian piece linked above has a nice selection of the final group, exemplified by:

Incredible that they wouldn’t dream of George Bush (senior or junior) giving the address (thank goodness) so why go to this ridiculous extreme? A religious bigot from a hardline theocracy broadcasting on UK television, full of views that would destroy the very framework that allows such a channel to exist….Pim Fortuyn, you are sorely missed.

That particular comment has two excellent additional traits. One is the current right-wing bigot fad of pretending the reason they hate the darkies is because the darkies represent a threat to liberalism, exemplified precisely by Mr Fortuyn [*]; and the other is the implicit recognition that GWB is pretty much as bad as Mr Jacket…

[*] murdered by a secular white loony, lest we forget.

Update: somewhat disappointingly, the speech was nicey-nicey C-of-E moderate religiousness, rather than foam-flecked calls for the destruction of Israel and worldwide Islamic revolution. It’s almost as if the US government’s attempts to demonise Iran and its rulers ahead of their attempted war were ridiculous exaggerated bollocks, or something…

Casual racism confession hour

OK. was anyone else surprised to see the face-blurred photo of Baby P and discover that he was white and blond?

Of course, there’s no reason why white, blond parents can’t be just as vicious and evil as any others; although given that there can’t be more than about four white parents in Harringey it goes slightly against the grain…

(I heard someone comment as an aside that the mother had been to public school. Not sure if this has been confirmed in any non-censored sources; if it’s true, then it’ll have been another factor making life difficult for the social workers involved. If you spend your days dealing with lackwit charvers who’re incapable of, know wha’ I mean, like, stringing, a fucking sentence fucking, like, together, then I suspect a bit of expensively-purchased articulacy and charm is likely to switch off some of your alarm bells…)

Yes, it’s another ridiculous request

Spitting Image song dedicated to HRH Prince Charles, based on Blur’s Parklife. Approximately “all the people / so many people / and they all hope his mum won’t die / until the very end / of Charles’s life”. Video, audio or lyrics all attract various degrees of oral gratification.

Best summary ever

From Scaryduck’s condensed Shakespeare, Romeo & Juliet as a UK tabloid headline: “KNIFE CRIME TOFF IN PAEDO SUICIDE PACT”