Filed under Filthy foreigners

Ruthlessly stolen from elsewhere

Jokes about polonium will only be half as funny in 138 days’ time.

Interesting new crazy meme

Insane right-wing Americans, who’ve almost certainly never been to France and hate the French for their cheese consumption and lack of redneck stupidity (side note: they should meet my friend’s girlfriend’s rural French family, who are apparently an easy match for any Appalachian in Hickness Quotient), believe France is subject to an intifada (link broadly representative of wingnut opinion).

No, a few thuggish low-income low-prospects French people are rioting a bit. It happens. Get a fucking grip, you Arab-hating buffoons…

Conspiratorial

Dsquared has an interesting point on the Litvinenko affair: the conventionally accepted wisdom about the plot, in almost all other contexts, would look like a Crazy Conspiracy Theory and therefore be rejected.

This is true-ish, although I think the Russian connection makes the perception a little different – the public ‘know’ that Russia assassinates people helter-skelter, whereas the public ‘know’ that our elected leaders would never do such a thing. Equally, Ajay in the comments mentions a powerful reason why – unlike most conspiracy theories – this one could be quite easy to maintain the cover-up:

It’s worth pointing out that, personally, if I were involved in a plot whose object was the long and painful death of someone who snitched about plots, I myself would be highly motivated not to snitch about that particular plot, for very obvious reasons.

Fighting ignorance with ignorance

I’m not a fan of the burqa: it’s a silly garment that dehumanises the women who wear it, and promotes a religious agenda of which I disapprove.

However, the Dutch plan to ban its wearing in public is an appallingly stupid, illilberal and evil one. A hallmark of a civilised society is that, subject to certain decency-based requirements, people can wear what the fuck they like. Banning women from expressing their beliefs through their dress is the kind of stupid shit that fundamentalist Islamists get up to, not the kind of thing we should be doing.
It’s basically a parallel to the whole War On Terror thing – a marginal and irrelevant bunch of silly cunts don’t like us much and make some half-arsed attempts at destroying our freedom, so the government takes decisive action to destroy all our freedom before they get the chance. The Dutch equivalent is “you want to impose barbaric and restrictive dress codes on us – so we’ll impose them on you!”.

If any Islamist terrorists are reading this, I suggest you fly to Amsterdam (only about £30 on EasyJet these days), shoot interior minister Rita Verdonk with eight bullets, slit her throat, stab her in the torso, and leave a note pinned to her with a knife saying something like “stop it you daft buggers, you’re almost as bad as me”.

Still utterly perplexed

I think I’ve asked this kind of question before, but so far haven’t heard any sensible responses. So, if any right-wing “the country is going to the dogs, nobody cares about morals or does any work any more, and we’ve let in millions of Muslims who want to kill us” types fancy enlightening me, please let me know…

What does it matter if a hundred thousand or a million Poles come to the UK? They’re hardworking, law-abiding, well-educated and largely have traditional moral values; they’re also white and Christian, which doesn’t bother me overmuch but seems to be the kind of thing you might approve of. Is it because they’re Catholic? Is it because you just hate anyone who isn’t English? Is it because you’re no bloody good at what you do so you’re worried they’ll steal your job? Or is there something I’ve missed…?

Random hungover links

Fat Americans waste a billion gallons of petrol each year. Actually, it’s worse, as farming all that un-needed and un-healthy food wastes masses of fossil fuels. They should be making whisky instead. Hmm, whisky…

Nicaragua steps back into the fucking dark-ages by relenting to pressure from nut-job Catholics, and banning all forms of abortion, even when the mother’s life is at risk.

A police force has been told to stop logging information on drug dealers, as it would “lead to a higher target the following year”. Why this comes as a surprise to anyone is a mystery to me. If you set fairly intelligent people a fairly simple task (say, “meet all your targets, which are based upon last year’s performance”) then said people will find clever ways to game the system (such as, making sure you don’t over-shoot the target by much, as that would lead to a much higher target the next year). I’m lead to believe that since the 80s, business management has clearly understood this. Sadly New Labour learnt their ideas about management then, and seemingly haven’t bothered to actually look at any empirical evidence since.

–Doormat (who can still taste whisky: grim).

Who fakes a spack-attack?

What a cunt. No, no, not Michael J Fox, but a certain Rush Limbaugh. Mr Limbaugh is clearly some inherently evil worm-ridden turd, who apparently thinks that Michael J Fox is faking his symptoms for political gain. What a complete fucking arsehole. I think this speaks volumes about the kind of people who still support Bush, especially those who think that we shouldn’t try to find cures for the incurable because it might give credence to abortion. Wankers.

MtD

Blogging in China

Well, PDF has fucked off somewhere, so you’ve got a few stand-ins for a little while. Don’t expect much improvement in tone though. I thought I’d kick this off by pimping a site I regualrly read. More proof that the Chinese government are a bunch of cunts, as if any were really needed. The plan is to force all Chinese bloggers to register their real name with the government. As the article says,

though a law’s unworkability is no guarantee that it won’t be passed

Too true. –Doormat

Why did we give these backward cunts independence in the first place?

I’ve held off commenting on the Mirza Hussain story before now, mostly because I find it hard to summon up sympathy for anyone willing to go to the primitive hellhole that is Pakland.

Even so, the idea that someone can be tried for murder by a real court, acquitted, and then tried again by a religious kangaroo court is really, really, really insane. The sooner the civilised chaps in India nuke the place out of existence, the better…

(also, anyone who writes dates in comedyspeak – like this English language newspaper – deserves crucifixion. It’s October fucking 2006. If you think it’s Ramazaan 1427, you’re an idiot, and that’s got fuck all to do with religious or cultural values).

Mild outbreak of sanity

Enron CFO Andy Fastow has “only” been sent down for five years for providing an opportunity for large numbers of greedy thick fucks to lose money. Better than expected, given the lunacy with which America frequently treats such enablers – clearly turning ubersnitch is a Good Plan should you ever find yourself in such a position.

I disapprove of the principle, though. The more people like Fastow there are out there, the more money will be lost by idiots who never deserved to have it in the first place, and therefore a more equitable distribution of income will ensue.