Pigdogfucker

Do you like drinking? Are you concerned about becoming fat? While a recent Guardian article reveals the calorific value of various tipples, it’s silent on the crucial question of fat versus drunkenness. Which is obviously the point for the health-aware among us.

So, PDF feels obliged to create a table confirming the units-to-calories ratio of various different booze types. Use it wisely…

Today is, according to some dubious hack academic, the most miserable day of the year. This feels right: it’s bleak, it’s dull, it’s miserably cold, there’s no prospect of anything interesting happening for months, you feel rubbish, the Tube breaks down, and there are another four working days to go.

However, I’ve discovered an amazing miracle cure. When you get home of an evening, simply run a hot bath, then drink a stiff gin and tonic in it. Suddenly, the day’s miseries melt away. The world seems surprisingly agreeable. Going through tomorrow seems like a better alternative than suicide (although spontaneous suicide is never really an option: it would be a shame to go for suicide without taking a few terrible bastards with you, and that kind of thing doesn’t just plan itself…).

So, gin, quinine and a hot bath. As recommended by Pigdogfucker. It’s not just for unexpectedly pregnant women any more.

I mean, how resourceful can you get?

I’ve invented a new cocktail, which I call a Laurie Lee.

It consists of cider with rosé.