Filed under Crime & Punishment

La haine

What the hell is going on in France? Whatever, I’m reasonably sure that it’s Sarkozy’s fault – a displaced Blunkett if I ever saw one…

Good decision

If you drive through puddles and splash them at people, you’re a dickhead. And being fined £300 is frankly lenient: having your car forcibly submerged in a large tank of water would be more appropriate. Unsurprisingly, the Daily Mail [not online, sorry] disagrees and has gone off on a “political correctness gone mad” tangent. Fuck that: having Daily Mail readers forcibly submerged in a large tank of water would also be more appropriate.

Evil puritanical cockbastards

Anyone who believes that banning alcohol on public transport would be a good idea should be instantly and painfully killed to death. Vile, despicable, nannying subhuman excuses for a government. I hope John Reid gets bottled to death by an army of drunks, and will happily fund the bottles for any such mission.

Incidentally, the same advice applies to all the idiots who believe that there’s a binge drinking problem in the UK. There isn’t. Some people like to get drunk. A smaller subset likes to have fights. Unless you live above a club, and therefore occasionally need to wear earplugs and sweep up sick of a morning (but got your house cheap in the first place for this reason, so actually you can fuck off too), their behaviour does not concern you. So fuck off and stop trying to interfere.

Lying to liars

It seems that lying to a hack is now illegal. I surely sleep safer in my bed knowing this edifying fact. And passing secrets to Iran.

Ah, shut up with your Rachels

If anyone else approvingly cites Tom Gross’s repetitive point about the PR that murdered-by-Israeli-state Rachel Corrie gets compared with assorted murdered-by-exploding-fanatics Rachels, then you have my express permission to run them over with a bulldozer.

Maniacs kill people and always will. This is sad and a problem, but fundamentally boring. However, we don’t expect nominally civilised governments like Israel to slaughter unarmed civilians (quite why we don’t expect Israel to slaughter unarmed civilians is less clear, but that’s a point for another day), so it’s interesting when they do. Why d’you think Steve Biko gets more PR than, say, Nelson Chisale? Or come to that, why Jean Charles de Menezes gets more PR than James Adams?

Actually, I guess if you’re the kind of person who believes that Rachel Corrie still gets PR when suicide bombing victims don’t because everyone on the left is a crazed antisemite, you probably also don’t understand why De Menezes gets that much attention. Sigh…

Saddamy

Says the BBC, “[the resignation of Saddam's defence lawyers] raises fresh questions as to whether the former leader, whose trial opened last week, will receive a fair hearing”.

No, it doesn’t: there is no doubt that he will receive an unfair hearing. There is no prospect either that someone of Saddam’s infamy could receive a fair trial anywhere, or that a third-world state that was a tyranny til 2003 and now steers an uneasy path between theocracy, tribalism and outright anarchy could deliver a fair trial to anyone.

Cold dead hands

Brazilians want to keep guns legal. Fair enough: at least it gives them the opportunity to fight back when policemen try to shoot them in the head.

Yay mobs!

The riots in Birmingham are unexceptional; they highlight the tendency of moronic fuckwits to go on community-destroying rampages for absolutely no reason. It’s not a race thing – idiots of all colours have done similarly stupid things in recent years. And while it’s clearly partly a class thing, this is because the middle classes are too attached to their Mondeos and stone-clad semis to burn them down, not because the middle classes are any less capable of wanton destructive bigotry.

In the wise words of Mr Nicholas Cave, “people they ain’t no good”.

Idiot deservedly dies

It’s Darwinian, really: if you ignore the red lights at a level crossing, you may die. And deserve to, particularly since it’s not even a year since a suicidal dickhead offed five innocent people by parking their car on one.

Great sympathy for the traumatised train driver and the injured passenger. Great rejoicing at the disappearance of another useless idiot, and the fact that he failed to take anyone with him this time.

Now, my preferred railway safety measure for the future would be for any car driver who goes through a red light on a level crossing to be taken to a wood and shot in the back of the head. But failing that, they should at the very least get life driving bans, and preferably jail. And they certainly should not escape prosecution and then whine in local newspapers about how unsafe level crossings are.

Sleep securely

For ten years, the leading British retail banks didn’t notice the fact that one banks’ IT staff were massively on the take, and stole large numbers of PIN numbers alongside huge amounts of money. And now with Chip and PIN, you’re liable for all money nicked using your card…