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In praise of America

Fuck, they’ve actually charged Johannes Mehserle with murder, and refused to let him out on bail. That’s infinitely better than I’d expected, and infinitely better than we manage whenever our cops murder innocent civilians.

Good work, California real rozzers.

[PDF mission statement on coppers: detectives - like the ones who've investigated Oscar Grant's murder - are excellent; uniform are thick cunts who'd probably be better off licking windows and cleaning toilets; specialist units are somewhere in between; and transport cops are the ones who got rejected from all of the above. Including toilet cleaning...]

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Science-based fact

Apart from The Wire, Peep Show is the best thing to have been on television in the last 20 years.

However, I’ve just discovered something even better than watching an entire series (5, since you ask) of Peep Show on DVD.

It’s watching an entire series of Peep Show on DVD with your slightly uptight best-mate-flatmate-house-owning-type gentleman.

And his girlfriend.

Who you’ve slept with.

And who you’re being kicked out of the house for her to move in.

Whilst not having paid the rent.

If you do this whilst drinking from a bottle of revolting Icelandic booze and exclaiming loudly that it’s undrinkable filth and the best thing you’ve ever drunk, this also helps with the atmosphere.

(if, earlier in the evening, you’ve snogged best-mate-type-gentleman after being dared to do so by his girlfriend and your planned future flatmate, who’ve put on a mild lessie show for you first, this adds to the levels of entertainment.)

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Mildly embarassing misunderstandings

Me and a friend walking along the canal by Camden on Sunday, and passing a couple of cunts from some kind of cuntish pro-cuntery demonstration waving Israeli flags… our conversation falls silent as we pass them.

Me: ‘hmm, was almost tempted to set fire to them, but decided it’d probably cause a scene’
She (shocked): ‘errr, WHAT?’
Me: ‘the flags, I mean’
She: ‘oh yeah, fair enough, me too. I thought you meant the Israelis’

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I’m not being racist, but

do you know the way to Camden? More praiseworthy than funny, but still worth a watch

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Sandpaper Johannes Mehserle to death

I don’t normally approve of the death penalty, even for people who cold-bloodedly murder innocent unarmed civilians.

However, I’ll happily make an exception for San Francisco cop Johannes Mehserle, who shot an unarmed, restrained man – Oscar Grant – in the back:

If anyone should murder Mr Mehserle, I’ll throw a party in their honour. The more painful the murder, the better the party.

More here.

Update: apparently enterprising locals have already had much the same idea. Good.

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Lies and the lying liars who tell them

What’s crooked? Misrepresenting a scientist in a quote? Maybe not. Misrepresenting a scientist in a quote and refusing to correct your article? Maybe not even that? So, what, then…?

How’s about misrepresenting a scientist in a quote, refusing to correct your article, refusing to publish his refutation on the letters page, and refusing to even publish his comment on the online article? Fuck yeah!

That’s serious terrifying, lying nonsense. Not in a trivial fashion, but in a spreading-myths-about-one-of-the-most-important-things-threatening-the-world fashion. It’s the point where the prospect of legal action against people for telling outrageous and malicious lies actually comes into play… [*]

[*] if you’re a freedom-of-speecher who believes in the abolition of all libel laws, fine; I disagree with you but you’re not an idiot. If you don’t, in a world where you’re allowed to do this kind of shit, but not to call wealthy well-lawyered thieving rapist crook Alisher Usmanov a thieving rapist crook, there is no freedom of speech.

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Chill on the gas, and the utilities

OK, so:
1) the Russian gas freeze doesn’t matter overmuch. It does amusing things to gas prices, but ultimately a whole bunch of other people still make gas so it doesn’t really matter.

2) if utilities passed wholesale prices onto consumers, as an enormous coterie of cod-socialist morons were suggesting would have been a good idea when wholesale oil and gas prices briefly plummeted in the autumn, then – instead of really trivial and non-relevant rises averaged over a couple of years – we’d have actually seen some terrifying “giz a tenner or you’ll freeze”-ness re-enacted.

Conclusion: paranoid freaks get upset about irrelevant nonsense (i.e. it costs fuck all as a % of our income) like energy and food; neither really matters; world continues, aside from the extent to which idiot politicians have bent to accommodate said paranoid freaks.

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