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Bloody liberals; bloody libertoonians

They all take shit a bit too seriously. Is there some kind of ideology that doesn’t, or is that a bit contradictory?

All I want to be able to do is to call a black man a raging queen; a homophobe a Nazi; a Klansman a tranny; and a transexual a nigger, without causing offence. Surely that isn’t *so* hard to do…?


The Robinson Rule, or ‘why the UK is excellent’

In many countries, in order to succeed in life, you need to be born rich, or of a certain colour.

In the UK, all you need to do is to speak in a very-fucking-easy-to-speak-in certain fashion. Scouser Ann Robinson is an excellent example; so is Blue Peter’s Connie Huq; and so is pretty much everyone else in the UK from a working-class background who’s now successful and who’s not a petty twat trying to prove a point.

This is a pretty fucking excellent piece of social mobility. All you have to be arsed to do is watch a bit of telly and speak like it [*], and that pretty much fucking sorts you out. Whilst people who choose to speak like pikies do get a bit dicked over, it’s not like they couldn’t Doolittle themselves up were they to be bothered.

Also, if you’re foreign, you don’t count as common. Again, this is an excellent example of the UK class system in action. In the States, Mexicans are the lowest of the low; in the UK, Poles score well above dirty council charvers…

[*] true dat, negro. shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.


I apologise to Turkish Airlines

In the past, I’ve been slated for slating Turkish Airlines as a rhetorical ‘shit airline’.

Since then, I’ve flown on them and they were actually not at all bad. Not as good as CSA, Jet or WizzAir, but definitely in the absolute top tier of ‘airlines that aren’t based in the UK or places we used to own’. [*]

But even better, they’ve removed an ignorant prick from their flight for whining about how ‘oh noes, the plane is full of Arabs’. Hmm… not sure whether the stupidest thing there is the general bigotry, the logical failure given his beliefs (if the plane is full of Arabs, it’s fairly safe – four or five would be the worry figure…), or the fact that AAAAARGH TURKS AREN’T FUCKING ARABS YOU IDIOT!!!. Probably c.

[*] Singapore, Cathay, Virgin, BA, Qantas… anyone else who’s actually good that I’ve forgotten? Note: if you say KLM or Lufthansa, you’ve clearly not flown KLM or Lufthansa.

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Cats, pigeons

I’ve a new post on DK on how MP expenses are irrelevant: anyone willing to take the wage of an MP for the job of an MP must be either a child, an idiot or a crook – and if they’re a crook it’s better that they’re shafting their allowances, rather than taking bribes to affect public policy.

Despite the fact that I’m really, really obviously right here, I’m expecting pretty much everyone who earns less than an MP to unite in bitter rage against it, whether their preferred more-than-an-MP-earner is Melanie Phillips, Nick Cohen or John Pilger. And I’m expecting pretty much everyone who earns more to stay the fuck out of the debate, or post hypocritical cant pretending that they don’t (see Phillips, Cohen & Pilger, op cit).

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Regina Spektor, Vagina Inspector

Dammit, it looks like I wasn’t the first person to think of this idea. Although apparently I am the first to note that it would make an excellent Viz strip.

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The King of Thailand is a despicable cunt

King Bhumibol Adulyadej is a revolting clownish goon – and doubtless, like most of his countrymen, a pimp and a paedophile.

That is all.


It’s hard bloody work alright

I hate the use of the term ‘hard working’ to describe ‘people with jobs who pay taxes’.

Many – if not most – people with jobs who pay taxes are just as idle and feckless as people without jobs. Indeed, a single mother on benefits works far harder than the average cunt sitting in an office, pissing about on the Internet, playing solitaire, and whining on libertoonian blogs about how the money which he’s only paid because of the mixed, industrial-corporate-capitalist economy successive governments have created is stolen from him.


Revolting bastardry

Whichever cuntrags used a child to record this nonsensical, lying paranoid libertoonian bollocks should have their eyes gouged out with pencils. Foul, lowest-common-denominator, sub-literate emotivist twattery.