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Burn Luis Medina Cantalejo alive

Yes, it’s only the second most important form of football; yes, England played badly while Russia played surprisingly well; and yes, if Israel beats Russia then we’re not necessarily out of the contest (the latter would also be quite funny).

Nonetheless, the game was actually a draw; the penalty was not a penalty; Luis Medina Cantalejo is a despicable cunt and if someone were to burn him alive shortly after raping his wife and eviscerating his children in front of him, that would be fair enough. Fucking cheating Spic bastard; I wonder how much the assorted Russian oligarchs bribed him?
(also, anyone who blames Rooney deserves glassed. It was unequivocally not a fucking penalty; it wasn’t really even a foul…)

If you were looking for a definition of ‘self-righteous, self-justifying cunts’…

Bystander, the blogging magistrate, has rightly mocked a pro-speeding website’s insane reaction to losing in the ECHR (summary: if your car’s caught speeding, you have to say who was driving or why you don’t know who was driving, otherwise you’re considered liable for the fine and points. Loonies believe this is an Evil Violation of Human Rights, despite generally supporting the internment and execution of brown chaps).

The sheer level of affronted cuntery that this has met in his comments section is highly entertaining.

Look, you badly-driving bastards (it doesn’t matter whether the speed limit is appropriate to the road, if you’re not capable of driving within it because it’s the law then you shouldn’t be allowed behind the wheel), you do more fucking harm per year than the fucking terrorists by several orders of magnitude, and are treated with fucking kid gloves [*]. Take your points and be grateful for them, cuntwits.

[*] unless you’re unlucky enough to actually kill someone while driving badly, at which point you become an Evil Bastard and go to jail forever despite having no more culpability than every other badly-driving cunt on the road

Things I missed

One of the most shit excuses I’ve ever heard for not updating a blog is that the blogger’s flatmates brother is currently squatting in the blogger-in-question’s computer room. But fuck you all, it’s true. Both directly, and by impairing my porn consumption and hence diminishing my anger.
Anyway.

Craig Murray’s Dundee University rectorship speech is excellent, especially “Jack Straw, incidentally, is a man who should have ‘Rubbish’ shouted at him from the moment he steps out of the shower in the morning until the moment he retires with his evening cocoa“. And the case where a court ruled that only someone of unsound mind would consider donating money to the Tories was, if anything, even better.

Possibly fast, definitely shit

I had chalked UK ISP Fasthosts down as a company that cravenly but understandably backed down to Alisher Usmanov, and that might have learned lessons from that debacle.

But in fact, it turns out that they’re just a bunch of cunts who’ll pull your website for no good reason, without checking whether any claims made against it are actually true. Not even true in the “is that thing he said libellous?” sense, but in the “does he actually have a link going there?” sense.

If you use them, don’t. If you’re thinking of setting up a website with them, don’t. If you’re thinking of setting up any kind of content-based website in the UK, unless you absolutely need it to be UK-based for legal reasons, don’t. Not all UK ISPs are cunts like Fasthosts, but they’re all subject to [*] UK libel law – and at current dollar rates, US ones are cheaper anyway.

Update: and they lose your email
[*] yes, I know everyone on the Internet is subject to UK libel law, but US ISPs tend to either have no assets in the UK and therefore not give a fuck, or be very big and therefore slightly less scared of Fancy Lawyers.

Under no circumstances…

I can’t stress the extent to which nobody, under any circumstances, should ever watch this video. NSFW, or indeed anywhere else.

Apropos of nothing

This is an entirely pointless piece of kit for daft Americans. But why the hell is it promoting a minging city in Berkshire?

[note: I neither know nor care whether said location actually has city status, or is merely a big crap town]

If you’re scared of terrorists, I hope they fucking kill you

Everyone dies. Most people die while old of chronically painful diseases. Some die in accidents; some die while young of chronically painful diseases.

Then, a number of people that – even if every fucking would-be-terrorist out there was left entirely unchecked – would still equate to less than 1% of total deaths are killed by terrorist actions.

With those odds, to spend any time whatsoever worrying about that miniscule risk is Just Fucking Stupid, and anyone who is worried that they or someone they love will be killed or injured in a terrorist attack should Just Fucking Stop It.

Which brings me to the paranoid nutjobs on this comment thread who think it’s entirely reasonable to send a girl to jail for wearing flashing LEDs at an airport. “Oooh, but she could have been a terrorist; she was lucky they didn’t shoot her”. Possibly she was lucky the evil cunts who manage security at airports didn’t shoot her (in the unlikely event that there is a major successful terrorist act on an airport, the deaths of some airport security cunts will be one of the few upsides), but I’m not sure that’s really the point…

Libellists

Yes, I know I’m late on this one.

Uzbek tycoon Alisher Usmanov, who may or may not be a wobber, a wapist and a pickpocket, is looking to buy Arsenal Football Club. Craig Murray, the former British ambassador to Uzbekistan, doesn’t think Mr Usmanov is a fit and proper man to do such a thing, and published an article to that effect (Indymedia mirror) on his website.

Mr Usmanov, following in the proud tradition of fine characters such as James Goldsmith, Jeffrey Archer, Robert Maxwell and Sonia Sutcliffe, immediately hired expensive libel lawyers to threaten Mr Murray with Dire Consequences unless he expunged the article forthwith. Mr Murray’s response was that the article was true, and that he’d happily see Mr Usmanov in court (this is also known as an ‘Arkell versus Pressdram‘ moment).

If the British libel laws weren’t appallingly stupid, that would have been the end of the matter. Unfortunately, they are, and anyone who distributes a libel, knowingly or unknowingly and on a ridiculously wide definition of ‘distributes’ (legally, a paperboy delivering a newspaper with a libel on p24 would count…) is also liable to be sued. So Mr Usmanov’s lawyers also threatened the hosting company for Mr Murray’s site with a libel writ, and cravenly-but-understandably they backed down and pulled the plug.

[understandably because it's not their fight; it's not reasonable to expect the directors of a small web hosting firm to potentially lose their livelihood because the law is an ass, even if fighting for truth would be the morally courageous thing for them to do]

The good news is that, via a massive blog campaign, Mr Murray’s article has now achieved a far larger readership than it would ever otherwise have done, that Mr Usmanov’s past is now on the agenda for mainstream news organisations – and more generally, that the existence of the Internet has reduced the extent to which corrupt and powerful men can cheat and bully critics into silence. And who knows – maybe their demonstrable futility will actually lead to the reform of the UK’s libel laws to become more sane.

Personally, I don’t believe there should be libel laws at all: if people want to tell lies about me, that should be their prerogative, just as it should be mine to tell the world that the people lying about me are a shower of despicable cunts.

When I’ve raised this to people, they’ve tended to suggest that their abolition would harm innocent people wronged by the evil press. I’m sceptical that’s the case, though: I can’t think of a single libel case ever that wasn’t either over something so trivial that it’s frankly an insult to drag it into the courts (“Ugly single middle-aged rich man pays for sex! Bottle-blond pop star is gay!”), or brought by someone so despicable that – even if the story were false – the most appropriate resolution to the case would still have been to sandpaper the litigant to death.

If anyone knows of a libel case where a genuinely malicious press organ was held to account for publishing a seriously damaging and false story about someone who wasn’t a vile cunt, please post details in the comments – you might even change my mind…

Is it racist to hate white South Africans?

Not if you’re fucking white yourself it isn’t.

NB obviously, this doesn’t make Terry Kelly any less of an idiot – it’s just that his reasonable dislike of white South Africans is not one of the many qualities that make up his idiocy.

If only he were mute

Why the fuck is what David Blunkett thinks about anything news? Rentaquote gobshite; I hope he drowns while a crowd of plastic coppers watches and cheers (incidentally, the CSOs did absolutely the right thing in the case discussed here: they couldn’t see where they body was, so there wasn’t much point in going on a pointless and potentially fatal wild goose chase).

I was going to lighten the mood a bit with a link to the bible retold in lolcatz style, but the site appears to be buggered. Ah well, misanthropy and misery it is then…