Posted in October 2009

World of meh

First of all, it doesn’t look like that Twitter account’s coming back. Motherfuckers.

Second of all, I’ve decided not to post what I was going to post, due to my sheer fame amongst real-world people. Damn you all.

I really, really, really need a lover. Someone who prefers men to girls would be preferable in this context. A girl who prefers men to girls would be particularly helpful.

(and yes, that’s the “ok for posting” version, despite its hideous embarrassement-du-fromage)

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Rule of thumb: Pressdram edition

1) if someone doesn’t know what “Pressdram Ltd” is or does, then the rest of this rule is moot.

2) if someone knows what “Pressdram Ltd” is, and is anything other than unequivocally supportive of its excellence, importance in defending all that is good and civilised, and symbolic importance in society, then that person is a despicable cunt with whom you shouldn’t have any further dealings.

2a) if the only equivocation is to do with its organ’s MMR coverage, then that person should probably be forgiven, but also educated in the difference between “this is safe”, “the government says this is safe”, and “a respectable journal published a study which said that this wasn’t safe, which was later proven to be made-up lies by a crook, but which we drew attention to in between the government denying the study and the proof that it was made-up lies”.

2b) 2a is the only exception.

That is the end of this rule of thumb.

Admin an’ that

Unrelatedly:
1) the site appears to have turned green. I might have done that; if I did, I was pissed and I have no idea why I might do such a thing. Someone leave a comment if it’s riddled with strange green-turning viruses or summat.

2) the motherfuckers at Twitter seem to have suspended my account. I’m not sure whether that’s because it had the word ‘fuck’ in it, because of my parallel career as a link-spammer, or because of my habit of private-messaging pictures of my penis to anyone with a vaguely female-sounding avatar.

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A vignette from the life of PDF

Players:
PDF, an offensive Twat
X, a former Lover of PDF

Action:
[PDF and X are discussing PDF's romantic plans]
X: Z is quite pretty and might like you, she does have a boyfriend though.
PDF: That’s OK, does she love him?
X: No, I don’t think they’re going to last long.
PDF: This is fine. I’ve recently decided that it’s OK to date girls who have boyfriends, as long as they don’t love them.
X: I suppose that makes sense.
PDF: …because I’ve realised that with all my exes, they’ve had a boyfriend they didn’t love.
X: [looks sad]
PDF: What? You totally did have one…
X: No, I really loved you.
PDF [simultaneously]: No, I meant at the time I started going out with them, they had another boyfriend they were looking to break up with. Like you did.
Company: [brief slightly embarrassed and yet slightly life-affirming moment]
PDF [ruining it]: C’mon, you seriously think I’m Morrissey enough to actually think you didn’t love me? I’m aware I’m an idiot, but that was the least in doubt ever.
X: My friend’s coming back into the room now, would you like some more wine?

Envy my life.

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