Posted in January 2009

It’s hard bloody work alright

I hate the use of the term ‘hard working’ to describe ‘people with jobs who pay taxes’.

Many – if not most – people with jobs who pay taxes are just as idle and feckless as people without jobs. Indeed, a single mother on benefits works far harder than the average cunt sitting in an office, pissing about on the Internet, playing solitaire, and whining on libertoonian blogs about how the money which he’s only paid because of the mixed, industrial-corporate-capitalist economy successive governments have created is stolen from him.

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Revolting bastardry

Whichever cuntrags used a child to record this nonsensical, lying paranoid libertoonian bollocks should have their eyes gouged out with pencils. Foul, lowest-common-denominator, sub-literate emotivist twattery.

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In praise of America

Fuck, they’ve actually charged Johannes Mehserle with murder, and refused to let him out on bail. That’s infinitely better than I’d expected, and infinitely better than we manage whenever our cops murder innocent civilians.

Good work, California real rozzers.

[PDF mission statement on coppers: detectives - like the ones who've investigated Oscar Grant's murder - are excellent; uniform are thick cunts who'd probably be better off licking windows and cleaning toilets; specialist units are somewhere in between; and transport cops are the ones who got rejected from all of the above. Including toilet cleaning...]

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Science-based fact

Apart from The Wire, Peep Show is the best thing to have been on television in the last 20 years.

However, I’ve just discovered something even better than watching an entire series (5, since you ask) of Peep Show on DVD.

It’s watching an entire series of Peep Show on DVD with your slightly uptight best-mate-flatmate-house-owning-type gentleman.

And his girlfriend.

Who you’ve slept with.

And who you’re being kicked out of the house for her to move in.

Whilst not having paid the rent.

If you do this whilst drinking from a bottle of revolting Icelandic booze and exclaiming loudly that it’s undrinkable filth and the best thing you’ve ever drunk, this also helps with the atmosphere.

(if, earlier in the evening, you’ve snogged best-mate-type-gentleman after being dared to do so by his girlfriend and your planned future flatmate, who’ve put on a mild lessie show for you first, this adds to the levels of entertainment.)

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Mildly embarassing misunderstandings

Me and a friend walking along the canal by Camden on Sunday, and passing a couple of cunts from some kind of cuntish pro-cuntery demonstration waving Israeli flags… our conversation falls silent as we pass them.

Me: ‘hmm, was almost tempted to set fire to them, but decided it’d probably cause a scene’
She (shocked): ‘errr, WHAT?’
Me: ‘the flags, I mean’
She: ‘oh yeah, fair enough, me too. I thought you meant the Israelis’

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I’m not being racist, but

do you know the way to Camden? More praiseworthy than funny, but still worth a watch

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Sandpaper Johannes Mehserle to death

I don’t normally approve of the death penalty, even for people who cold-bloodedly murder innocent unarmed civilians.

However, I’ll happily make an exception for San Francisco cop Johannes Mehserle, who shot an unarmed, restrained man – Oscar Grant – in the back:

If anyone should murder Mr Mehserle, I’ll throw a party in their honour. The more painful the murder, the better the party.

More here.

Update: apparently enterprising locals have already had much the same idea. Good.

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