If you think that sending someone to jail for killing a fucking seagull is a proportionate and sensible decision, then you’re a stupid cunt.
This blog salutes seagull kickers Paul Cheetham and Jamie Griffiths; should either of you happen to find this post, I’ll happily buy you a pint when you get out – just leave a comment. Hell, I’ll even make it two pints, as long as your first act is to replicate the kicking-to-death action on chairman of the bench and despicable bastard Ken Allitt.
(for the avoidance of doubt, this blog’s position on animal cruelty is roughly the same as its position on table cruelty: i.e. only somebody certifiably insane could believe that such a thing existed. Actually, that’s not quite fair – the reason gullible idiots think animal cruelty is a real thing is because animals look a bit like people, so out of fairness I’ll compare it to mannequin cruelty…)