DC Steve Lloyd is certainly a cunt, but I wouldn’t murder his baby

Via Phil in comments, a badly reported story of idiots screwing each other over in a way that may have disturbing implications for non-idiots.

The story, at least according to the BBC is that Gavin Brent, who in fairness does look like a thick twat, got arrested for some kind of arcane Internet thievery. DC Steve Lloyd interviewed Mr Brent over said thievery; then went on paternity leave whilst Mr Brent was being charged. Mr Brent then ranted on his blog about how shit it was that he was being arrested and how the officers arresting him were cunts, suffixed with “P.S. – D.C. Lloyd, God help your new-born baby”.

This isn’t A Clever Thing To Do. However, in the eyes of anyone who isn’t certifiably, immediately and permanently paranoidly deranged, it’s entirely fucking clear that that sentence means means “I hope your baby manages to get around the handicap of having a dad who’s an utter dickhead”, not “I’m going to set fire to your baby”. Unfortunately for Mr Brent, DC Lloyd is indeed a paranoid dickhead, and hence charged Mr Brent with [something]. The magistrates – possibly because most magistrates are complete and utter lackeys who’ll convict anyone of anything the police ask no matter what the actual law may be – found him guilty and fined him £150.

The reason for the [something] and the “possibly” is that the only report of this I’ve been able to find is on the BBC website (plus a few ranty blogs that have linked to it), and in the style of most “ooh, comedy interest” local news stories, the reporting is a pile of arse and doesn’t mention the actual offence with which Mr Brent was charged. Equally unfortunately, Mr Brent’s blog has been deleted and I’ve not been able to track down any archives or backups of it.

Readers, do you have any more info on this story? In particular, I’d be interested to see a) what the hell he was charged with and b) any evidence at all that the magistrates were justified in concluding that “any reasonable person would find the words about the baby to be menacing in the context of the overall blog“. Because unless the evidence goes well beyond the BBC story there is none, and the magistrates should immediately be fired.

Update – thanks to Mike in comments:

Here is the blog in question; the original charge sounds like an utterly malicious prosecution and I can see why the chap in question thinks the police and CPS in the case are cunts.

Reading between the lines and eliminating some of the self-justification, budget electronics site Ebuyer fucked up and sold him loads of stuff at bargain prices; he kept on ordering it, on the grounds that why the hell not, but when they realised their mistake they reported him to the police. Anyone who thinks it should be illegal to buy things cheaply from a website that a company is too stupid to make work is an idiot, and should be beaten to death. However, I can also see that Mr Brent’s style won’t have done him any favour with the company, the rozzers or the CPS [note: "in the style of this blog" is not how I act when dealing with authority, or indeed doing anything under my real name...]

But one thing that is entirely fucking clear is that his blog it is absolutely free of threats, but riven with whiney denunciations. This means that the magistrates who interpreted his whiney denunciation as a threat are moronic cretins; if someone successfully crucifies all three of them to death and posts the photos in comments here, I’ll give them a fiver and a bag of chips.

9 thoughts on “DC Steve Lloyd is certainly a cunt, but I wouldn’t murder his baby

  1. KC says:

    Yeh to be honest, I thought it seemed pretty strange and wondered what exactly was his ‘offense’ and if they’re justified in prosecuting him. I would love to see him counter-prosecute them, or at least to appeal the judgement.

  2. Phil says:

    I thought it mentioned in the BBC article the Telecommunications Act. I googled “Telecommunications Act grossly offensive” and got this:

    “(1) A person who -

    * (a) sends, by means of a public telecommunication system, a message or other matter that is grossly offensive or of an indecent, obscene or menacing character; or
    * (b) sends by those means, for the purpose of causing annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety to another, a message that he knows to be false or persistently makes use for that purpose of a public telecommunication system,

    shall be guilty of an offence and liable on summary conviction to imprisonment for a term not exceeding six months or a fine not exceeding level 5 on the standard scale or both.”

    So if any normal person finds your blog persistently annoying, then you’re a criminal? WTF?

  3. Mike says:

    I got interested enough when I saw the story to do some Googling and this Brent guy has a blog at http://buyerhell.com/wordpress/

    I don’t know about his alleged thievery; it’s something to do with supposed stealing from ebuyer and to be honest I wouldn’t be surprised if it was all down to some fuckup on the part of ebuyer, compounded by Mr Ranty getting all irate on them.

  4. PDF says:

    Cheers Mike.

  5. Chalcedon says:

    I remember reading that story. I always thought that by being offered goods at a price and you buying them that was a contract. If they were underpriced by the seller, that is known as ‘a bargain’. You can’t just ask for them back coz you are a cretin that underpriced them and didn’t notice. It isn’t theft. So why the police were called in was a mystery. Why the magistrates aren’t more objective and free thinking isn’t really a mystery. They aren’t there to think, but be advised in the law. As for the CPS, they are utterly illogical in bringing forward prosecutions. Chuck a bit of cucumber at someone and your feet don’t touch. Burgle a house and threaten the owner with an axe while your 7 mates rob him blind and the cops don’t even show up (I would have said I had a Mk3 SOCOM (handgun) and was about to shoot them, that would have ensured 4 squad cars) and no-one gets sent up before the beak.

    The guy was daft to use language that was misinterpretable in any way, because if the cops want you, they will seize on anything, even the wildest allegation to charge you, let alone a few sentences mentioning the officer’s baby. He obviously forgot that we are sliding into a police society which is a grim parody of 1984 and not the pantomime version. The government think this is is a manual and not a warning. The cops are usuing the Stasi primer for behaviour based on the one written by Hydrich for Gestapo training.

  6. dsquared says:

    My guess would be that what actually happened was that he was given a promotional code for some kind of discounmt, but (as occasionally happens), discovered that there was some sort of flaw in the system which (say) allowed him to enter it over and over again, piling discount on discount to get electrical goods really cheap. He then (maybe, etc) proceeded to take the piss with respect to this loophole and got his collar felt.

  7. dominic says:

    Having been on the receiving end of justice Welsh style, let me point out that the Welsh authorities are unintelligent even by the low standards of the police. Another thing to bear in mind is the wilfull misunderstanding at work ( a trademark of authority )…the police decided that “God help your baby” could ONLY mean “I’m going to harm your baby, watch out!”, as usual their low intelligence combined with their innate desire to stitch people up meant that such things as “context” & “tone” were deemed irrelevant.

    The lesson Gavin Brent can learn is twofold….1) don’t steal off people
    2) never underestimate the lack of intelligence of others.

  8. steve says:

    Gavin wouldent steal a penny sweet or hurt a fly, i feel this shows how corupt the north wales police are an will go to any lengths to get to someone. gavin found a flaw on the site which offered the product at a greatly reduced price, would you admit to it someone undercharged you in a shop?? i doubt it very much at the end of the day its there mistake an not yours.

  9. Liam Virgil says:

    This is the first site I’ve seen that picked up this story. I was afraid to rant about it in my own blog in case the police thought they’d have a bit of fun by coming after me too. Didn’t know it was the North Wales police btw – as in ‘this taser electrotorture demonstration shows what you’ll get if you don’t obey my officers.’

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