Pigdogfucker

Ask A Displaced Person In A Darfur Refugee Camp unfortunately brings to mind the long-running Onion series of the same name. Thus:

Dear Displaced Person In A Darfur Refugee Camp,

My partner and I have been seing each other for two years now, but the magic has gone out of our relationship. Is it destined to end or should I accept that things will never be as good as they were at the start?

Confused

Dear Confused,

There is a shortage of water. We have to buy one can a day for 25c, so unless you work you don’t get any money or water. Sometimes there is food, but not all the time. We get food rations once a month from the United Nations World Food Programme but it is not enough unless you add something. Please, will you people in the West help us?

Displaced Person In A Darfur Refugee Camp