Pigdogfucker

Making George Monbiot look sensible by comparison isn’t an easy feat. The Last Ditch manages it epically well:

Were it up to us, there would be no Central Bank to bail Northern Rock out. Absent the moral jeopardy created by State guarantees of deposits, depositors would have spread their money widely and chosen banks with care or would have lost it. I doubt if Northern Rock could have attracted many depositors without the State’s original guarantee (and the hope of the bigger one produced in a crisis).

Great. It’s important and efficient to force everyone in the world with a few grand put aside for a rainy day to build an understanding of financial markets and liquidity crunches…

In what a man fears you will do to him, you learn what he would – given the chance – do to you. God preserve us all from being in the power of George Monbiot. I did enjoy the semi-digested Marxian references to the supposed paradise of the hunter-gatherer clan – the “hominid troop” for which our Georgie is so nostalgic.

No, you daft fuck. The point is not that the hominid troop is a Good Thing, or something we should aspire to – the point is that it’s that living environment which has shaped our reflexes, gut-feelings and common sense. Therefore, unless people reflect on their actions and try and follow some kind of moral code, they will behave in the way we would in the wild – i.e. stealing from and murdering everyone who we’re not related to and don’t want to fuck.  This is why we have laws…

The Guardian’s “subs” relish their enslavement to that great Dominatrix, the State, but there is no codeword that will stop it from stamping on their most delicate parts with the spiked heels of State Power. They may like that. Forgive me if I don’t. And forgive me if I find it deeply offensive that, having suffered from the parasitism fostered by Labour my whole life, I should be called a parasite myself.

‘Suffered’? Fuck you. Paying a bit of tax is not ’suffering’, even if some of it does go to comedy chavs with eight thousand children. Paying a bit of tax is ‘mildly irritating, but hell, at least I’ve got a job’.

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Top quote from Lawyers, Guns and Money:

If Hitler had been able to compare stuff to Hitler, he totally would have done so.

…followed by some rather sensible analysis. Yay for making good political points out of cheap jokes!

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I try, generally, to be a good person. In my book, ‘being a good person’ is broadly utilitarian, with some overwhelming moral values of ‘not doing unspeakably appalling things that nominally meet utilitarian criteria’.

Taking kids from Africa and sending them to be adopted by couples in France (or anywhere in Western Europe) is in no sane way that anyone could possibly justify unspeakably appalling – no, seriously, try it – I’d be delighted to hear your stupid, moronic argument for why said children ought to be condemned to poverty and general nothingness.

Therefore, I’m glad that the French government appears to be backing up the aid workers who’ve been trying to rescue some kids from a lifetime of misery in Chad to be adopted in France. Unsurprisingly, the Chadian government, being a bunch of scumbags who feel guilty about their inability to provide a good life for said kids or indeed anyone else with the misfortune to be born under their rule, think the French aid workers are awful. But fuck them.

The best single thing that can happen to a child born to third-world parents is to be adopted by people in the developed world, and the clearest indication that people who run third-world countries are heinous scumbags is that most of them make such adoptions illegal (and vice versa from people who run developed countries and try and impose the same, mentalist restrictions).

If every childless Western couple could take a ‘would-otherwise-have-been-in-desperate-poverty’ baby from Africa or East Asia, the world would be a better place. And if you’re reading this and think otherwise, then I’d be fucking delighted to go back in time to your birth and swap you with a child in fucking Darfur, Chad, Sierra Leone or anywhere in sub-Saharan Africa who’d understand why the fuck I think you (and I) are so privileged.

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Ming found to be world’s oldest living creature

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What’s a ‘real job’? According to this bizarre attack on the Cabinet’s “lack of real-world experience”, the following jobs aren’t:

• University lecturer
• Journalist
• Solicitor
• Barrister
• Political analyst
• Teacher
• Economist
• Head of strategic planning
• Trade union leader
• PR consultant
• Social worker

I mean, what the fuck? How are these jobs any less ‘real’ than the IT consulting jobs that most right-libertoonians [*] seem to have? Would we really be better off with fewer teachers and more cunting web designers? Or is this some kind of macho fantasy-land, where self-hating web-monkeys imagine a world where we’re ruled by brave manly soldiers, shipbuilders and mechanics…?

From the same piece, these two quotes are brilliantly mad:

“Not only is a he a fully paid up member of the Lawyer Enemy Class, he’s had ten years of being part of the European Union Borg Mind.”
“UN Transnazi anti-American wanker”.

Jesus. The EU’s merits are debatable (and there’s a lot of internal and external debate on them, which makes the ‘borg mind’ quip more than a little bizarre…). But EU aside, how much of a crazy-arsed jaded cunt do you have to be to believe that defending people’s civil rights, or attempting [with varied levels of success from conflict to conflict] to broker non-military solutions to the world’s problems, are bad things?

[*] out of right-libertoonians who’ve mentioned their jobs online, I can’t remember any who aren’t IT consultants, and I can think of several who are. If you know any right-libertoonians whose jobs are unequivocally more useful than any mentioned above, please post it in the comments.

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