Pigdogfucker

On reading the ‘young girls shagged ‘n’ bribed into smuggling coke for dodgy Africans, now facing ten years’ third-world hard labour’ story, I thought it would be hard to find anyone who thought this was a sane, fair or proportionate outcome.

I mean (sensible point) they’re only kids who barely know what they’re doing and (slightly less sensible, but still more accurate than most prohibitionist commentary) cocaine is a consensual and mostly-harmless-to-third-parties way of making rich wankers slightly less rich and more wankerish for a few years, until they get over it or die of heart attacks.

Digression: and if anyone’s got a ‘my [relative/friend/person I saw on TV/dog] died of DRUGS and they’re EVIL and must be STOPPED’ sob story, then fuck off. Whoever you know that died of coke-related illness undoubtedly had a fuck of a lot more fun than you ever have or will in between their first line and their demise…

Unwisely, I turned to the Daily Mail messageboard:

Withdraw their citizenship, do we really want them back after their sentence is complete?

- Andy, Bradford, England

If only our lilly-livered government could take such strong action!

I hope our media will ensure this is given as much publicity as possible to deter other potential smugglers.

- John, East Sussex, UK

They deserve everything that is meted out to them for this!

- Terence, Hereford, UK

What fucking planet are these mad cunts on? How can anyone greet the ruining of a child’s life for a trivial non-crime with a ‘mmm, yeah, good, more of that please’?

Sometimes I actually, rather than merely for satirical effect, despair at the utter mindless idiocy and sheer evil of the scum we’re forced to share this planet with…