Pigdogfucker

On reading the ‘young girls shagged ‘n’ bribed into smuggling coke for dodgy Africans, now facing ten years’ third-world hard labour’ story, I thought it would be hard to find anyone who thought this was a sane, fair or proportionate outcome.

I mean (sensible point) they’re only kids who barely know what they’re doing and (slightly less sensible, but still more accurate than most prohibitionist commentary) cocaine is a consensual and mostly-harmless-to-third-parties way of making rich wankers slightly less rich and more wankerish for a few years, until they get over it or die of heart attacks.

Digression: and if anyone’s got a ‘my [relative/friend/person I saw on TV/dog] died of DRUGS and they’re EVIL and must be STOPPED’ sob story, then fuck off. Whoever you know that died of coke-related illness undoubtedly had a fuck of a lot more fun than you ever have or will in between their first line and their demise…

Unwisely, I turned to the Daily Mail messageboard:

Withdraw their citizenship, do we really want them back after their sentence is complete?

- Andy, Bradford, England

If only our lilly-livered government could take such strong action!

I hope our media will ensure this is given as much publicity as possible to deter other potential smugglers.

- John, East Sussex, UK

They deserve everything that is meted out to them for this!

- Terence, Hereford, UK

What fucking planet are these mad cunts on? How can anyone greet the ruining of a child’s life for a trivial non-crime with a ‘mmm, yeah, good, more of that please’?

Sometimes I actually, rather than merely for satirical effect, despair at the utter mindless idiocy and sheer evil of the scum we’re forced to share this planet with…

The failed bomb attacks on London and Glasgow have damaged public perceptions of Islam, a survey has suggested.