Pigdogfucker

I don’t know what your phone dialling code is. However, if you live in London, I certainly know what it isn’t: it isn’t 0207 or 0208.

The only [*] area code for London is 020. If you wish to dial a London number from another phone in London, you need to dial all eight digits, not just the last seven. A new phone number issued in London, no matter whether it’s inner or outer London, may have a first digit of 3, 7 or 8: availability is the only basis on which issuing is determined. And when you move house within London, you can take your old eight-digit number with you, no matter which district you move to.

This means that anyone who writes their phone number as 0207 xxx xxxx or 0208 xxx xxxx is an idiot. Should you encounter a shop with the number written like this, you should throw a petrol bomb through the window. Should you encounter a van or truck with the number written like this, you should steal it and submerge it in the Thames. And should someone present you with a business card where the number is written like this, you should shake their hand, point out that you’d never do business with such a fucking moron, and then beat them firmly but politely to death.

[*] rule-proving exception: some outer bits of Greater London, such as Uxbridge, have dialling codes that follow the small-town 01xxx structure. If I were in charge, I’d change these to 020 numbers – sadly I’m not.