Posted in January 2007

Blogger writes most stupid and untrue thing ever

Last night, I wrote the following sentence:

Mr [Prince] Naseem, who is not a useless, worthless, waste of space

Even given the quantities of beer, wine and amyl nitrite that I’d consumed before going online, this is the most shamefully inaccurate thing I’ve ever said. Consequently, I’ve committed ritual suicide as a penance and will do any further blogging from beyond the grave.

For the record, of course Prince Naseem is a worthless cunt; sending him to jail was the right thing to do; the people he crashed into are irritating whiners (if someone who harms you gets sent to jail, you should be fucking gracious about the fact that – entirely because of what the person did to you – he is having his life destroyed, because that is what happens to people when they are sent to jail); and stripping him of his MBE is pathetic.

You lame bunch of losers

This is all your fucking fault:

We are sorry to have to inform you that the pledge to which you signed up did not meet its target in the required time. It required 3,000,000 people, but achieved only 662.

The pledge, created by Stef, read: ‘I will refuse to register for an ID card but only if 3,000,000 people will sign up.’

This means you don’t have to do your part of the pledge. Instead, why not sign up to local alerts at http://www.en-gb.pledgebank.com/alert to find out when someone creates a new pledge near you, browse the pledges at http://www.en-gb.pledgebank.com/list or perhaps make your own pledge.

Yes, of course I was one of the 662. And you?

It’s not difficult when I go away

Luckily, there are idiots willing to admit their own idiocy wherever I go.

Today’s preferred idiot is Clare Burgin, whose husband was run over and slightly hurt by Prince Naseem, who is a slightly rubbish English boxer.

Because our courts are deranged, manaical, and don’t understand the difference between some poor sod who fucked up and some evil cunt who needs killed, Mr Naseem actually spent some time in jail for his bad luck (whereas if someone beat the shit out of you with an iron bar because they were a mental chav, they’d probably get off with probation).

Anyway. Anthony Burgin has come out of the whole situation without any serious harm. Mr Naseem has spent quarter of a year in jail. Mr Birgin’s wife, being a deranged mentalist bitch who deserves topping, thinks that the person who’s done badly out of this situation is Mr Burgin. She and he can fuck off; the only reason it’s disappointing they didn’t both die in the accident that marginally harmed Mr Burgin is because that way Mr Naseem, who is not a useless, worthless, waste of space, unlike the Burgin family, who are, would have had to spend even longer in jail.

And for hilarious comedy value, the mad cunts who run our honours system have stripped Mr Naseem of his MBE. Yes, Jeffrey Archer doesn’t get his Lordship removed for lying to the Old Bailey, but Prince Nassem gets a half-arsed bullshit honour removed for running over a daft cunt.

Update: this post is utter bollocks – see here.