Good work, McDonald\’s

Some McDonald\’s restaurants in Australia have started using halal meat in their burgers. This is sensible: it tastes the same as normal meat, and it means that everyone (apart from orthodox Jews, who are banned from eating cheeseburgers anyway….) can eat it.

Amazingly, there are mad cunts out there who actually disapprove of this. \”Just as a Muslim would not want to eat anything that isn\’t halal . . . I should have my rights to eat normal, ordinary food that hasn\’t been blessed,\” says gibbering mentalist and stupid cunt Miriam McLennan. Hopefully, she (along with everyone who shares her outlook on life) will be gang-raped and cut into small pieces by drug-crazed Islamists.

Meanwhile in the UK, a similar pathetic storm in a teacup has been cooked up by crazy white bigots. A school with a 20% Muslim intake decided to serve halal chicken as its Christmas dinner so that everyone could eat the same food at the same time – which is again the obvious and sane thing to do and which could only be objected to by gibbering mentalists. Unfortunately, the gibbering mentalists whined so much that the school had to abandon the plans…

What the fuck is wrong with these bastards? I\’m obviously not a Muslim; I\’m happy to get blind drunk and eat a halal kebab or chickenburger, because I don\’t give a flying fuck about the religious incantations that it has or hasn\’t been blessed with. Christianity explicitly abolishes all dietary restrictions for its adherents [*], so if you are of Christian extraction and you refuse to eat halal meat when you\’d be willing to eat the same animal killed non-halal-ishly, you have no religious or moral excuse – you are just a mad bigot. And should be killed, preferably halal-style.

[*] Eat anything that is sold in butchers’ shops; there is no need to ask questions for conscience’s sake, since To the Lord belong the earth and all it contains. If an unbeliever invites you a meal, go if you want to, and eat whatever is put before you; you need not ask questions of conscience first. – I Corinthians 10, 25-26

10 thoughts on “Good work, McDonald\’s

  1. Isn’t halal a bit like kosher though? You know, they slit the animal’s throat whilst it’s still alive and drain all the blood?

    Couldn’t give a shit myself, but I could see how some animal-huggers might object if that is the case. If not, fuck it…


  2. Simon says:

    I would imagine the animal-huggers wouldn’t be eating meat in the first place.

  3. Larry Teabag says:

    Speaking as an animal-hugger, I don’t give a flying fuck whether I’m not eating an animal which has tortured to death by an Imam, or not eating an animal which has been tortured to death by a secular free-marketeer.

  4. Quim Terfel says:

    Didn’t the National Hero Jamie Oliver slit a lamb’s throat on that Italy programme he did? In contravention of the EU rules on slaughtering livestock? You’d think the No-Truck-With-PC crew would be all for a bit of Halal slaughter.

  5. He didn’t actually slit its’ throat, he wussed out and the Italian guy had to finish the job. However that particular slaughter wasn’t covered by any EU rules on slaughter because for your own home consumption, you’re pretty much free to usher your dinner into the next world however you see fit. Pedantic point I realise. I’d just rather pre-empt any resulting anti-Euro rants.

  6. dsquared says:

    the only people who aren’t allowed to eat halal (or kosher) meat are the Sikhs, apparently, who don’t eat meat from animals that have been ritually slaughtered for theological reasons that I don’t care about enough to find out what they are.

  7. Blue says:

    OMG it’s the Halaal tax to bring down teh Whitemens!

  8. Praetyre says:

    Islam isn’t a race, dhimmass.

  9. Balvinder says:

    The only people not allowed to eat Halal meat are Sikhs because the meat slaughtered in the Muslim way have a slow death so the Muslims can recite their prayers over the dying animals. Sikhs can however eat any aother meat or animals

  10. Khan says:

    According to research by a German university on humane methods of slaughtering, stunning the animal hit on the head with a big iron bolt (to apparently render them semi-conscious and easy to handle before chopping off thier heads) can be unsafe as stun bolts have a tendency to smash the skull and push the brain matter into the blood stream where by it has a chance to get into your food, i.e. which lead to ‘Mad Cow’.

    Halal is similar to the Jewish method (Kosher) where the arteries are cut, allowing blood to flow out and as measured by the research experiment, this showed a pattern similar to ‘going to sleep’.

    The reason being that the person performing halal slaughter is trained to only cut the arteries and not the spinal cord and nerves which are the pain receptors, which the research experiment showed lessens the pain of the animal.

    Secondly, after stunning the animals head is severed instantly which causes cardiac arrest and the blood instead of being pushed out of the animals body stays in the meat, while in halal slaughtering, only the arteries are cut, while the heart is still pumping blood out of the body so that you don’t consume it, hence you get a better taste of meat (kosher or halal).

    Lesson learned !

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