Posted in October 2006

Tasteful visual joke

The Diary of Anne Frank:


Random hungover links

Fat Americans waste a billion gallons of petrol each year. Actually, it\’s worse, as farming all that un-needed and un-healthy food wastes masses of fossil fuels. They should be making whisky instead. Hmm, whisky…

Nicaragua steps back into the fucking dark-ages by relenting to pressure from nut-job Catholics, and banning all forms of abortion, even when the mother\’s life is at risk.

A police force has been told to stop logging information on drug dealers, as it would \”lead to a higher target the following year\”. Why this comes as a surprise to anyone is a mystery to me. If you set fairly intelligent people a fairly simple task (say, \”meet all your targets, which are based upon last year\’s performance\”) then said people will find clever ways to game the system (such as, making sure you don\’t over-shoot the target by much, as that would lead to a much higher target the next year). I\’m lead to believe that since the 80s, business management has clearly understood this. Sadly New Labour learnt their ideas about management then, and seemingly haven\’t bothered to actually look at any empirical evidence since.

–Doormat (who can still taste whisky: grim).

Who fakes a spack-attack?

What a cunt. No, no, not Michael J Fox, but a certain Rush Limbaugh. Mr Limbaugh is clearly some inherently evil worm-ridden turd, who apparently thinks that Michael J Fox is faking his symptoms for political gain. What a complete fucking arsehole. I think this speaks volumes about the kind of people who still support Bush, especially those who think that we shouldn\’t try to find cures for the incurable because it might give credence to abortion. Wankers.


Blogging in China

Well, PDF has fucked off somewhere, so you\’ve got a few stand-ins for a little while. Don\’t expect much improvement in tone though. I thought I\’d kick this off by pimping a site I regualrly read. More proof that the Chinese government are a bunch of cunts, as if any were really needed. The plan is to force all Chinese bloggers to register their real name with the government. As the article says,

though a law\’s unworkability is no guarantee that it won\’t be passed

Too true. –Doormat

Reproduced for your pleasure

This is my response to (a) generic criticism of Gordon Brown; (b) this specific criticism of Gordon Brown:

Brown has set tax higher than you or I would like and propped up that cunt Blair for far longer than I would like, but no matter how much you hate the fucker he\’s ultimately fucked up the overall economy less than any of the procession of stupid bastards of all parties to occupy #11 since the last fucking war.

The reason we\’re all arguing about liberties, terrorists, (imaginary) crime, and fucking immigration is because we\’re not arguing about poverty and recession, cos we\’re not having them.

When \’the national conversation\’ switches away from the only thing which Mr Clapham Omnibus gives a fuck about – i.e. the economy – to trivial bullshit, it\’s a good sign that the economy is doing pretty fucking alright.

I\’m exaggerating, of course. I don\’t think imprisoning random Muslims without trial is trivial bullshit; yer average rightie doesn\’t think that letting in the occasional Somali rape victim is trivial bullshit (send her back where she belongs for coming from a backward culture, etc.); however, the only thing that everyone cares about is the one major thing that Labour have got right.

And only ideological loons are going to be seriously bothered about tax cuts until their income stops rising year-on-year (extrapolation from persoal experience, as is so popular round these parts: PDF = higher rate taxpayer. PDF = not at all advantaged by NuLab\’s tax changes. PDF = income still rising substantially year-on-year thanks to favourable economic circumstances).

Why did we give these backward cunts independence in the first place?

I\’ve held off commenting on the Mirza Hussain story before now, mostly because I find it hard to summon up sympathy for anyone willing to go to the primitive hellhole that is Pakland.

Even so, the idea that someone can be tried for murder by a real court, acquitted, and then tried again by a religious kangaroo court is really, really, really insane. The sooner the civilised chaps in India nuke the place out of existence, the better…

(also, anyone who writes dates in comedyspeak – like this English language newspaper – deserves crucifixion. It\’s October fucking 2006. If you think it\’s Ramazaan 1427, you\’re an idiot, and that\’s got fuck all to do with religious or cultural values).

A million pointless candles

The latest online viral \”ease your conscience by doing fuck all\” meme is Light A Million Candles To Stop Online Child Abuse (this doesn\’t literally mean online child abuse, which would be bizarre; it means using the Internet to access images of child sexual abuse. As far as I can make out, images of other sorts of child abuse are fine).

I think we can safely all agree that child abuse is a bad thing – obviously, as with all pointless platitudes, there is a great deal of debate at the boundaries (currently, someone caught in the UK with pictures of a 17 year old posing in a bikini is technically guilty of possessing child pornography; if you think this is sensible then you are insane), but there\’s certainly a consensus as you move away from the margin.

According to this group\’s own propaganda video (naturally, featuring \”99% of statistics are made up on the spot\”-type FACTS without any kind of references), \”4 to 5 new faces [ie children in child porn images who haven\’t previously been spotted in child porn by law enforcement agencies] are discovered every week\”. Given that law enforcement agencies aren\’t totally shit, we can assume this is a reasonably high proportion of the total number made available – for conservatism, I\’ll say 10% (which is insanely low, but never mind). So 50 new children are sexually abused every week worldwide for internet porn purposes, meaning 2,500 a year.

There are a billion people in places with readily available Internet access. To avoid having to look up demographic data, I\’ll say that means 200,000,000 children (actually, there are more). Assuming that over an 18-year period the chance of abuse remains constant (obviously it doesn\’t, but the end chances of a child having been abused for Internet porn by age 18 are effectively the same either way and it makes the sums easier), this means that 0.0225% of children will be abused for Internet porn.

The generally quoted figure for the prevalence of sexual abuse in childhood is around 20% for girls and 10% for boys (some surveys report higher levels). Based on this total incidence, online child abuse accounts for 1 in every 700 cases of child sexual abuse. And remember, this estimate assumes that the police only find 1/10 of images traded online, which does not tally with most actual reports on the subject.

Abuse by friends and relatives (which obviously encompasses most of the online cases as well) accounts for something rather closer to 700 out of every 700 cases of child sexual abuse. A more effective viral campaign would be something along the lines of \”just because he\’s your brother or your friend doesn\’t mean he\’s above suspicion if your kid starts behaving weirdly\”.

But that would shift child sexual abuse away from being something committed by semen-encrusted hoboes like Sidney Cooke and Roy Whiting and by shadowy Russian pimps and pornographers, toward being something committed by your friends and family (given the incidence of child sexual abuse in society, it is highly likely that someone you know and trust has sexually abused a child). And that would make people feel uncomfortable, instead of giving them a meaningless emotional high.

Paul Gibbons is a cunt

So come and beat me up, you ponce.

Seriously, though – fucking hell. No wonder I don\’t use my name any more.

Harmless elderly woman has her life destroyed by War on Terror mentalism

And no, this isn\’t an ignorant rant about racial profiling. It\’s a lawyer sent to jail pretty much for defending her client, in a \”if you\’d defend a witch, you must be a witch yourself\” moment.

(side note to ignorant ranters about racial profiling: if white/female/old persons were let through security without being screened, guess who\’d be recruited to deliver the next bomb…?)