Pigdogfucker

Superb.

It’s not often that my attitude towards white chavs goes beyond “bring back the gas chambers”. However, I very much enjoyed their behaviour in this video.

Enron CFO Andy Fastow has “only” been sent down for five years for providing an opportunity for large numbers of greedy thick fucks to lose money. Better than expected, given the lunacy with which America frequently treats such enablers – clearly turning ubersnitch is a Good Plan should you ever find yourself in such a position.

I disapprove of the principle, though. The more people like Fastow there are out there, the more money will be lost by idiots who never deserved to have it in the first place, and therefore a more equitable distribution of income will ensue.

I’m not impressed at the way a game against some half-arsed spics about whom nobody gives a fuck still incited enough mouth-breathing Neanderthals onto the streets of North London to add 15 minutes to my journey home.

Can’t we pack them into cattle trucks and gas them or something? Or, if we’re going to give into the demands of the human rights lobby and let them live, can’t we serve a demolition notice on their fancy new stadium unless they immediately begin the Tube-station-rebuilding works they promised to do when they were given permission to build the thing?

Dell, Apple and Lenovo (ex-IBM) have something in common: they all make better laptops than Sony. They have something else in common, too: the Sony-supplied batteries on their laptops have an unfortunate habit of exploding.

I detect a nefarious plot by the once-great, now-struggling Japanese firm: scare your rivals’ customers, ensure they are inconvenienced by paranoid airlines, blame the rivals’ system architecture, and grab their defecting customers by the thousands. Damn you, Howard Stringer…

Assuming that person B has previously done nothing terribly bad to person A, how bad is it if person B stoves person A’s head in with a brick?

What if person A has raped person B’s daughter? What about if person A has statutorily raped person B’s daughter? What about if person A is Nick Griffin, and person B is a Jew? What about if person B has killed person A’s brother, but person A doesn’t realise?

I reckon thought experiments are pretty fucking stupid, having done a degree in them. But feel free to post your favourite ones here, and we can, err, investigate them fully without mocking you for being an idiot or anything.

If I were to say “ding dong, the witch is dead”, that might provoke unfair exciitement among my more left-of-centre readers. So I’ll stick with the news that the bigot, liar and professional Muslim-hater Oriana Fallaci has snuffed it. Good.

In the vague hope that people who (without any apparent satirical intent) write this kind of thing:

1. True or False?

Liberals who attack Bush/defend terrorism do so because terrorism (like Communism) promises them the structure and discipline they, like so many spoiled brats, sorely lack and subconsciously crave.

Conservative answer: Sad but true

...will be the first to be exploded, even though I know that that theory has been empirically disproven.

This reminded me of this, in a “history repeating as farce” kind of way. Bloody hell, people are wankers.

Coming from an evil bastard like Mr Eugenides, this is surprisingly touching.

However, it does bring to mind the old saw that young victims of sudden death, whether through murder, accident, disease or other tragedy, are always lovely, wonderful people who help disadvantaged children and love their mothers (an extreme example).

Fate, like Al Qaeda, does an excellent job of saving the curmudgeonly sods who steal from widows and orphans, the people whose leisure time is spent masturbating in seedy booths and fighting in seedy bars, the people whose mothers despair for them. And this is precisely why I’m not scared of the terrorists…