Posted in March 2006

Conspiracy un-theorists, look away now

A chap named Nila Sagadevan believes that flying a real-life plane is so complicated, there’s no way the buffoons of September 11 could possibly have managed it on the evidence presented.

This conjecture is a more plausible than it first sounds: although I’ve been on BA’s 767 simulator and flown a virtual plane through a ravine at low altitude, I didn’t fly to the ravine. This would have involved flying blind (you can’t make out landmarks other than sea vs not-sea when you’re 12,000 metres up) and therefore understanding complex aircraft-specific navigational equipment, which the hijackers aren’t reported to have studied and which takes years to understand properly.

One thing that New York and Washington DC have in common, however, is that they’re both situated on the sea-vs-not-sea transition that you can see. To get from somewhere north of NYC to NYC, you just need to go east, turn south when you run out of landsouth, and descend in a spiral once you reach Manhattan. Flying to Washington DC is more of a challenge, but the Potomac is still big enough to be seen from the sky – so you can fly south along the east coast until you’ve gone over Delaware, then turn round and follow the river northwest.

But at the very least, the report is good news for people who live in tall buildings in Chicago.

(side note – the writer also says “[Flight 77 pilot] Burlingame would have instantly rolled the plane on its back so that Hanjour would have broken his neck when he hit the floor”. I thought that domestic airliners tended to fall apart if you pulled that kind of stunt on them?)

Watch and learn

British Gas and BT have criticised utilities comparison website uSwitch as nothing more than a “money making enterprise”. I didn’t realise they disapproved of that kind of thing, although that would explain the performance of my BT shares…

We don’t hate foreigners, only Arabs

I imagine there’ll be a massive outcry in the US about foreign company BAE Systems’ bid for security contractor L3.

No, wait, I don’t imagine that at all: the people who run BAE Systems are white.

Incidentally, I suspect the companies most pissed off by the Dubai Ports World comedy shennanigans will be Boeing and General Electric. The fastest-growing international airline is Emirates, owned by the Dubai government. Yup, the same Dubai government that the US just racistly humiliated.

According to the Telegraph, in an article published a couple of weeks ago (but researched, I strongly suspect, earlier):

Boeing is also in talks with Emirates, the Dubai flag-carrier about building a bigger version of the 787 – called the 787-10 – which would have about 300 seats. According to [Boeing spokesman] Bair, “it’s not going to be a matter of if we are going to do it, it’s a matter of when.”

Hmm. £many says they’ll go for a 300-seater A350 instead…

Mischief, magpies, etc

Thanks to Mischief of Magpies for making Pigdogfucker their Blog Of The Week. The fact that I didn’t update the site at all during the relevant week is probably a sign of something or other. Maybe if I stop posting altogether, I’ll win the recognition I so clearly deserve… (via)

Freedom and hangings

There have been 13 more executions in Iraq. Unusually, these have been imposed by a court of law rather than by an angry bloke with a gun. I’m proud that we’ve freed the Iraqis to judicially murder other Iraqis.

One minor quibble: according to Iraq’s cabinet, “the competent authorities have today carried out the death sentences of 13 terrorists”. I’m struggling to think of a way in which the Iraqi government could be described as ‘competent’…

Fell, rose, whatever

According to the Mirror’s star columnist Sue Carroll:

AT 13, Charlotte Maddox has joined the ever growing number of teenage mothers in this country.

As anyone with half a brain might be aware, it was reported a fortnight ago that the number of teen mothers has fallen in the UK. Can I have £200,000 a year to write patently untrue rubbish, please?

Wanking in the showers

HSBC are up before a tribunal after sacking their gay Head of Equity Trading for allegedly wanking in the showers. Peter Lewis’s dismissal was based on testimony from a man known to the tribunal as A (which is a pity – it would be nice if he were named and shamed):

A had described [Mr Lewis] as “a nonce” and told investigators if Mr Lewis had “… advanced towards him, he would need to revert to physical action … If we met on the street I would confront him verbally, maybe physically.”

So Mr Lewis was sacked for sexual harrassment on the uncorroborated word of a self-confessed violent homophobe, who was the only person to allege that the wanking incident happened. This violates all sanity: as an employer, it would only be the influence of the HR department (driven by the risk of a tribunal from the other side) that would restrain me from sacking the queer-basher. Instead, HSBC dismissed the bashed-queer on the testimony of one unreliable witness.
Come to that, what’s wrong with gays wanking in the toilets anyway? If it upsets insecure little bigots like A, it strikes me as a Jolly Good Thing. Indeed, the government should employ screaming queens with full-on SAS training to visit establishments likely to be filled with homophobic loons, flirt outrageously with the loons, and break the pathetic little bastards’ fucking necks if they get lairy.

Steve Adeleke – possibly not very nice

“Steve Adeleke is unhonorable guy meeting girls by internet. His name is Steve Adeleke… He is creminal for me. I m 30 years old woman living in POland. I was met him by net. He made me baby , and he isnt interested in it… I’ m afraid its normal for him” – some, perhaps ever so slightly partial, observer

Update (December 2006): the Google archive of the post above has been cancelled, which suggests to me that whoever made it was being unfair to Mr Adeleke. So for the avoidance of doubt, Steve Adeleke is the Pigdogfucker Man Of The Month.