Wanking in the showers

HSBC are up before a tribunal after sacking their gay Head of Equity Trading for allegedly wanking in the showers. Peter Lewis’s dismissal was based on testimony from a man known to the tribunal as A (which is a pity – it would be nice if he were named and shamed):

A had described [Mr Lewis] as “a nonce” and told investigators if Mr Lewis had “… advanced towards him, he would need to revert to physical action … If we met on the street I would confront him verbally, maybe physically.”

So Mr Lewis was sacked for sexual harrassment on the uncorroborated word of a self-confessed violent homophobe, who was the only person to allege that the wanking incident happened. This violates all sanity: as an employer, it would only be the influence of the HR department (driven by the risk of a tribunal from the other side) that would restrain me from sacking the queer-basher. Instead, HSBC dismissed the bashed-queer on the testimony of one unreliable witness.
Come to that, what’s wrong with gays wanking in the toilets anyway? If it upsets insecure little bigots like A, it strikes me as a Jolly Good Thing. Indeed, the government should employ screaming queens with full-on SAS training to visit establishments likely to be filled with homophobic loons, flirt outrageously with the loons, and break the pathetic little bastards’ fucking necks if they get lairy.

3 thoughts on “Wanking in the showers

  1. 01-811-8055 says:

    Of course there’s nothing wrong with wanking in the bogs. It’s certainly better than keeping it bottled up and not being able to concentrate on your work because of the built-up sexual tension in the room.

    Everyone should do it. In fact, they should have full on, urgent, no-strings-attached penetrative sex if they so desire, just to get it out of their systems.

    It’d improve productivity, I swear.

  2. Larry Teabag says:

    Did you ever see that “no more wanking in the office” sketch in Big Train? The boss had to have a little word, because they were all wanking at their desks instead getting on with work.

    Anyway I agree with you. On the other hand the news that there’s more than a bit of violent homophobia in City Trading circles doesn’t come as much of a revelation. Pretty disgraceful action by the company though.

  3. Al says:

    Is A, Mike “I’d beat the shit out of gays, unless they’d enjoy it because
    I’m not that way inclined” by any chance?

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