Posted in January 2006

Silly religious lot

The Danish paper of offensive-Mohammed-cartoons fame has issued an apology to “the honourable citizens of the Muslim world”. This clearly doesn’t include the mentalist fuckjobs who’ve been leading the protest. Shut up; it’s only a fucking cartoon.

A special hell is reserved for the European expats who gave arse-licking quotes to the Arab press about the whole debacle. “I think it typifies the lack of understanding about other cultures in the West, particularly about Islam and the seriousness Muslims attach to their faith”, says builder Martin Seward-Case. Shut up; it’s only a fucking cartoon.

What the Danes should have done is to invade Muslim countries, slaughter Muslims in their thousands, to prop up tyrannical regimes and to refuse to deal with democratically elected governments, while avoiding sixth-form jokes about Mo. That’s the Honourable Politically Correct Course Of Action, you see…

America upholds tradition

Just when you thought “going postal” was a retro expression…

Pigdogfucker approves of Guardian ladies

An obvious but good piece from Polly Toynbee on the religious hatred bill, and a fucking brilliant piece from Zoe Williams on the fashion among anti-choicers to obscure the debate by talking nonsense about term limits instead of saying what they really mean. Good work, lefty birds.

Suggestion to Ian Blair

If you’re going to have a shoot-to-kill policy for terrorists, please can you apply it tenfold on the slightest suspicion to the vicious bastards in the ALF?

Yup, America is insane

More evidence in favour of Peggy Noonan’s conjecture: the City of Los Angeles is trying to sue the makers of Grand Theft Auto over the ridiculous “hidden sexual content” non-scandal…

Blair says something almost, but not, sensible

Ian Blair is a dick. However, his recent comments about the PR given to the Soham murders and Tom ap Rhys Price compared to the murder of Balbir Matharu are almost sensible.

Almost, not actually. The reason for the difference in coverage isn’t race, it’s prettiness and class. Newspapers like to be able to run pictures of cute children or pretty-boy twentysomething lawyers, and they like stories of “enormous potential destroyed”. Pictures of fat now-dead middle-aged working class blokes don’t sell papers.

However, black victims who live up to the pretty-and-potential stereotype do: indeed, Damilola Taylor and Anthony Walker’s murders got blanket coverage for precisely this reason. It’s not about the race, it’s about the fit and the posh…

Useful drinking and calorie chart

Do you like drinking? Are you concerned about becoming fat? While a recent Guardian article reveals the calorific value of various tipples, it’s silent on the crucial question of fat versus drunkenness. Which is obviously the point for the health-aware among us.

So, PDF feels obliged to create a table confirming the units-to-calories ratio of various different booze types. Use it wisely…
Calorific value vs alcoholic strength

Who’s insane?

In the old days“, says WSJ loonalist Peggy Noonan, “that would be 20 years ago, there were two great actors in the world, and in their own rough bottom line way they understood each other. America would not nuke Russia because it was not evil; Russia would not nuke America because it was not crazy. There was an ugly stability to it.”

In strict logical terms, Ms Noonan’s sentence merely states that the USSR was not crazy and the USA was not evil. However, there seems to be some kind of implicit comment going on. The implicit comment, if we assume that Ms Noonan is in any way coherent, could be intepreted as “Russia and America were neither crazy nor evil”, or “Russia was evil and America was crazy”. I state, you judge…

The younger generation are idiots and should be euthanized forthwith

Scientists ask proles: who’s an idiot, and who isn’t. End result: “participants over 55 were more likely to choose evolution over other groups, while those under 25 were most likely to opt for intelligent design“.