Posted in October 2005

Neologism of the day

Pediaphiles: lovers of dodgy open-source misinformation and lies.

That’s not entirely fair: the Guardian’s expert test found that most specialists broadly rated the information provided in Wikipedia, if not the writing quality. The exception was the appalling fashion bint who slated the perfectly reasonable haute couture entry; this says more about the pretentious arseholosity of people in the fashion industry than it does about the Wikipedia.

Wonder what she’d make of the Profaniwiki?

Cold dead hands

Brazilians want to keep guns legal. Fair enough: at least it gives them the opportunity to fight back when policemen try to shoot them in the head.

Yay mobs!

The riots in Birmingham are unexceptional; they highlight the tendency of moronic fuckwits to go on community-destroying rampages for absolutely no reason. It’s not a race thing – idiots of all colours have done similarly stupid things in recent years. And while it’s clearly partly a class thing, this is because the middle classes are too attached to their Mondeos and stone-clad semis to burn them down, not because the middle classes are any less capable of wanton destructive bigotry.

In the wise words of Mr Nicholas Cave, “people they ain’t no good”.

Idiot deservedly dies

It’s Darwinian, really: if you ignore the red lights at a level crossing, you may die. And deserve to, particularly since it’s not even a year since a suicidal dickhead offed five innocent people by parking their car on one.

Great sympathy for the traumatised train driver and the injured passenger. Great rejoicing at the disappearance of another useless idiot, and the fact that he failed to take anyone with him this time.

Now, my preferred railway safety measure for the future would be for any car driver who goes through a red light on a level crossing to be taken to a wood and shot in the back of the head. But failing that, they should at the very least get life driving bans, and preferably jail. And they certainly should not escape prosecution and then whine in local newspapers about how unsafe level crossings are.

Cameron: abstemious

David Cameron says he hasn’t taken cocaine while being an MP. Of course, between April 12 and May 4 this year, he wasn’t one. What’s the betting he went on a coke-fuelled re-election spree?

Sleep securely

For ten years, the leading British retail banks didn’t notice the fact that one banks’ IT staff were massively on the take, and stole large numbers of PIN numbers alongside huge amounts of money. And now with Chip and PIN, you’re liable for all money nicked using your card…

Name of the week

“Hi, I’m from the Times in London; I’d like to interview about the horrible sexual abuse you suffered as a child. Oh, my name? It’s Roger Boyes…”

(via)

Jesus is a cunt

A teenager who wore a T-shirt showing a nun in a pornographic pose must do 80 hours of community service. Adam Shepherd, 19, was convicted by Weymouth magistrates under a new law banning the display of religiously insulting material.” – a Telegraph news-in-brief item, apparently not online. Meanwhile, a Metro news-in-brief item, also not online, suggests Mr Shepherd’s T-shirt bore the slogan “Jesus is a cunt”.

What fucking law banning the display of religiously insulting material? What the fuck was this man convicted for, and why hasn’t it provoked a national outcry? If the facts are as reported in the Telegaph piece, anyone who believes that Mr Shepherd deserved to be punished by law is evil and ought to be killed. I suspect they may not be, however, since the Telegraph has become a joke newspaper (well, also since I live in hope that our legal system isn’t really wasting its time on kids wearing nun-porn t-shirts…)

Quick Google-fuelled update: this has happened before, and apparently “religiously aggravated offensive conduct” is a real crime. Anyone who thinks that’s a good idea is certainly a cunt. Even if Jesus isn’t.

Vintage Grauniad

Look at sentence #1 of the quoted text in paragraph #9. A joke, right?